Saturday, December 30, 2023

Duces are Wild

 I had two dreams in the last two nights that I remember.  I've had dreams every night since last posting about them.  But, I don't think that all of them are worth reporting.

So, two nights ago.  I was in a garage with Dad.  I took note of how flat the concrete floor was and lamented the fact that I never built a boat (which I did in real life).  The second dream was a little more unsettling.  I drempt that I had gone to sleep or passed out, only to awaken in a psychiatric ward, learning that they had changed my medicine (not on any in real life) and that I was not free to leave.

Last night, I also had two dreams.  In the first, my daughter's (real life current) boyfriend was using the phrase that's not my job, which is a teaching tool that I use as a trainer to relate to the students that we all have triggers.  I hate that phrase.  I think I understand this dream, and it relates to him making constant sexual innuendo, as he did up in Barrie this week.  He does this because he's not smart enough to know they we're not stupid enough for it to go over our heads.  ...or he doesn't care; I guess that's an option.  Or, maybe he isn't smart enough to know that if is offensive.  ...or does it for spite.  Possibly, he doesn't have any respect for us.  And, to spare my daughter's feelings, we don't call him publicly on it.  I don't know if that's the right thing to do.  I guess respect is a two way street, and I wish he was more ambitious, or at least a more productive citizen in society.  And, I'll leave it at that.

The second dream I had last night had me living my dream; I was a police officer.  But, I was wrongly accused of being a dirty cop.  After having lost my badge and gun, I was exonerated, and participated in a large cannabis raid after almost losing a suspect in a car chase (I only got a partial plate before he briefly disappeared). One of the officers who participated in the raid was a former spook who had helped lock me up for being a dirty cop, although I didn't sense any ill intent from him during the raid, even when I mocked him for having messed up.  What does any of if mean, I'm not entirely sure.

Monday, December 25, 2023

Well Used Bible

From a torn page in Dad's well used Bible, he had written the following:

     I believe in the sun even if it is not shining.  I.                 believe in love even when I do not feel it.  I believe.       in God even when He is silent.

I see that he capitalized the word he.  That makes me happy.  A sad overtone, the message seems sad to me.  He had a lot of hurt in his life.  To suggest that you don't feel love and cannot hear God are somber melancholy statements.  The first line's reference to the sun seems to say that both are still present.

Sunday, December 24, 2023

Lord Forgive Me

 I went to the Christmas Eve service tonight, early service.  When we were singing In The Bleak Midwinter and got to the part where it says that Marry worshiped with a kiss, an overwhelming wave of emotion came over me.  Lord, I give you my heart.

Blackout

Oh yeah, I blacked out this week, kind of important to write about.  I bent down twice and stood up, as I fed the dog.  I blacked out, squatted down low for fear that I was going to lose consciousness, yelled for Cindy who was upstairs and didn't hear me, remained conscious, and eventually vision returned as the blood returned to my head and the lightheaded sensation left me.  I can't recall this happening before, ever.  Yesterday, I did an 8k run, no problem.  🤷‍♂️

Dreamz 'n Games

I've been having lots of strange dreams since the last time I recorded one here, every night.  None were about politics, sex, or religion though.  They've been about work, my old job too, mechanics, and last night was a game show.  I was on a series of game shows for trivia questions.  I went to a winner's circle match, made it to the semi final match, squeaked into the final round, and won it all.  I only answered one question wrong in the final, the first one.  It was a question about Justin Treadeau sponsoring Canadian athletes.  So, I guess the dream had some politics after all, though most trivia questions were non-political.  There was a time, and a sudden death round.  After I won, they tried to disqualify me via cancel culture, asking me questions that were personal in nature and not game related, regarding my beliefs.  Then I woke up in real life, and so the dream was over.

Saturday, December 23, 2023

Oh, you're just a security guard?

 I was thinking, about how we define ourselves by our occupations.  It occurs to me that we value (or find value in) a person by what they do.  I was thinking of the Lord, and how he was a carpenter.  And, the religious leaders said that he was just Jesus, son of Mary and Joseph the carpenter.  Who is He that we should listen to Him?  I get why evangelicals dislike the high degree seminary educated robe wearing clergy of the Anglican world too.  And, to be fair, some of them do pursue power and prestige within the Church.  The temptation must be great.  But, why do we think tradespeople are dumb?  Why do we value the opinion of a psychologist on the economy or an economist on the environment more that we do an electrician on the free market?  Have you ever thought about how we write people off?  What do you do for a living," is more of an accusation than a question.  Actually, it's an Ad Hominem attack.  I mean, if the argument is logical, engage it.

More than that, we don't just write people off; we devalue them when they aren't upper echelon.  Marry a doctor or a lawyer, we tell our children.  Who ever says they want their children to find a hard working bricklayer?  

But, Jesus was more than a carpenter.  Why can't we define ourselves as a person?  Hi, my name is William.  I like to blog and shoot and am active in politics.  I like watching baseball and playing slo-pitch.  I jog to stay healthy.  Sometimes, I grow hot peppers and garden.  I am a Christian, and Anglican.  I am a father and husband, son and brother.  I grew up on a farm and miss it.  I believe in free unrestricted liberty, personal responsibility, free markets, and small government.  I believe in equality over equity, and that everybody should have equality of opportunity.  My ethical system of belief oscillates between Kantianism and Utilitarianism, and I try to follow Jesus' teachings on morality.  I am a firm believer in Jeffersonian liberty, the Westminster Parliamentary System, and am a self defined Blue Tory.  I find all that defines who I am, what I am, much more than factory worker.  That's only how I support myself and my family.

Twist the Knife

 This is unforgivable: https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1585349418607972354?referrer=wramier

...and I almost had it happen to me when I was 17 years old.

Mean Bee Itches

 Never ever have I been so hateful as this.

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1585337142739996686?referrer=wramier


Psalm 102:4

Dad did forget to eat his bread.  He was so much more far gone than I realized on that fateful day when I stopped in after work to check on him.  He was sitting in his chair, like normal.  When I checked the cupboard for the food that I had brought him, it was still there.  I asked him if he had eaten, and he replied that he did not know.  I asked him to go to the hospital, and he refused.  He said that he had just gotten out of that place (broken neck).  He didn't want to go.

Stone Cutters

Dad asked me to memorize the 12th chapter of Ecclesiastes years ago.  He always wanted us to join the Masons; it was very important to him.  He never asked, as he said that Masons were not supposed to ask, not supposed to recruit.  But, I know that he did want us to.  Being afraid of public speaking, as I am, I was concerned about having to memorize and recite the degrees.  He said to me that if I could memorize and recite the 12th chapter of the book of Ecclesiastes, that I could recite the degrees in the Blue Lodge.  I set about to learn it, and did.  I could recite the chapter without mistake in the King James Version.

About the Masons:  I've always also had issue with the oath, and apprehension over the accusations of my evangelical friends that the Masons were practicing idolatry at best and practicing demon worship at worst.  I--using logic--reasoned that the accusations were born of the fear of the unknown.  Furthermore, I reasoned, "What kind of father would give his son a snake when he asks for a fish?"  Judging by the adage that, "by their fruits shall ye know them," I believe them to be good normal people (Masons).  Religious reservations aside, the biggest obstacle was always the public speaking.  There is no higher degree than the 3rd, but Dad had progressed to the 33rd in the Scottish Rite.  It was obvious that it was something of great importance to him. 

I've heard this advice twice in the last week.

It makes sense to me.

I understand 100%

I've been affected substantially on too separate occasions.  I get it.

Friday, December 22, 2023

Bread

Reading Exodus 35 tonight, and about the bread, reminded me of the food offerings and burnt offerings of the Israelites.  More specifically, it reminded me of Bel and the Dragon.  In verse 6, they leave food for the god to eat.  The difference, though, is the Israelite priests never claimed the food was being eaten by God to prove he was real.

Psalm 144:12

 Have I mentioned yet how proud I am of Chandra?  My daughter, surpassing my hopes, has been accepted into a Masters program.  I am so very proud of this intelligent young woman.  :')

We The People

The government should serve the people, and the police should protect the people.  This concept, advocated for--if not born--in The Enlightenment Age, has been forgotten.  Harkening back to the age of The Divine Right of Kings or the unquestioned supremacy of Caesar Agustus, modern democracies' bureaucracies act as though the people must be ruled, controlled.  And their collectivist supporters can't do enough to foster the butchery of liberty.

Public Healthcare is the Pits

 I hate our public system.  I know, people will say it's provincial.  But, there is a Ministry of Health at the federal level, and transfer payments.  Not to mention, Tommy Douglass set it all up, so they say.

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1584943490108755984?referrer=wramier

SW&H

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1584900667791642641?referrer=wramier

Darkness

Yesterday was the shortest day of the year.  Dark, cold, depressing.  The days will only get longer from here.

A Very Hard Teaching

Matthew 5:28 is a hard teaching by the Lord.  Because of it, I cannot say that I haven't broken a commandment, a very hard teaching.

I read a good commentary on it that said what Jesus was doing here was saying the sin did happen apart from the desires of the heart.  That is some comfort.  But, I don't know; it still feels like judgement.  

nb. Jesus is the worthy judge.

Wednesday, December 20, 2023

104

Chanting psalm 104 tonight, aside from the humour of saying wild asses, it strikes me that this is probably a helpful passage for Atheists.  How easily they can mock Christian's.  Waters above the Earth?  Preposterous.  Pillars of the Earth.  Ridiculous.   But, to me, even if the Bible was written by men, and written with their limited understanding of things, that does not mean that the Bible is not divinely inspired, nor that God did not build it all.

Mustang Boss 302 or 67 Shelby 500GT?

 

Ford Mustang Boss 302, Boss 429, and Boss 351 1967 Shelby GT500 | GR Auto Gallery

Judge Not

In Exodus 35, is says that anybody who works on the Sabbath should be put to death.  And I thought, who gets to make that call?  So typical of us humans, we love (LOVE) to judge each other.  I'm sure that throughout history there have been self appointed judges for this law.  Sure, the LORD commanded it as so it must be; but, Moses and Aaron and the judges were in authority under Him.  And, I wonder, how many times was the sentence of death carried out by zealots without authority as we love to condemn our neighbours. 

Dad

I miss Dad.  He had this amazing ability to recall.  I would say, “Hey Dad, you know where it says ‘if you confess with your mouth’ in the Bible?”  And, without looking, he would say, “Yeah, that’s in…,” without any problem.  I have to Google it.  That man knew his Bible.  …and his doctrine.  I went to him with many questions.   I miss that.

 

Lentmas?

I am finding this Advent very fruitful.  As a penitential season, it has been better so far for me spiritually than Lent.

 

How can the Father be the Creator of the World when Jesus is the Builder? Well...

Reading Proverbs 8 last night, and wholly carp!  There's the answer to the riddle of the second line of The Apostle's Creed coupled with John 1:3, Proverbs 8.  Read it.  Thank you LORD.

Get up, get back on your horse, and ride!

When you fast--and fall off the wagon, as I often do--the Devil will whisper in your ear, "You've failed.  Indulge all you desires.  There's no point now."  It's at that point that you say to Him above, "Sorry God.  My foot has slipped.  I will try again."  Nothing, so far as I've experienced, has ever been more proof positive of the existence of faith that you do something for God alone, such as fasting.

P.S.  Note to the reader:  I've never actually heard the Devil's voice audibly; it's much more subtle than that.  For if ever I heard the Devil's voice, I would no longer have to have faith--as St. Paul describes it--in Him above; I would, at that point--know without any doubt.  May God will it that I am correct in this thinking in Jesus' name.  Amen.

Whale Oil Beef Hooded

So, what did I mean a few posts ago when I said that my foot often slips.  Well, as St. Paul said, and I paraphrase, I continue to do the evil that I don't want to do.  All kinds of evil, wickedness to others is part of it, indulgences is another; even aside from impure thoughts (we won't go there today), I weigh 275 lbs at 6'0", so it's clear that I like food a little too much.

If I only got one chance, I'd beef hooked, as the Newfies say.  And, thank God that I don't have to save myself.  Thanks be to the LORD.  Amen.

Confession

I--for as long as I can remember--have had all these heretical thoughts that I have to push out of my mind, saying, "Get thee behind me Satan."  Part of my nature to question?  Perhaps.  Question everything, think critically, that's me.  Could He be preparing me for apologetics?  I don't know.  🤷‍♂️

Tuesday, December 19, 2023

51 94

Listening to psalm 51 being sung last night on YouTube and then recently chanting psalm 94 and thinking about sin, I'm so glad that God is patient.  Hide Your face from my sin each ti.e my foot slips.

Monday, December 18, 2023

Mortified

I was visiting a Church on Sunday.  I have lots of friends who go there.  During the--what I call--message part of the service, a woman (guest or associate pastor?) stood up and talked in very suggestive terms.  She used a phrase that I have never in my life heard before, to refer to the Virgin Birth.  She called the event or Jesus or the Holy Spirit the Sperm of God.  I almost didn't think I heard it correctly.  Nobody around me reacted.  So, shock aside, this is a term that I'm not entirely comfortable with, to suggest that the Holy Spirit had sex with Mary.  If you must try to explain the Virgin Birth in scientific terms, I've always sort of believed that the egg had 32 chromosomes through God's power and influence via the presence of the Holy Spirit within Mary.  This is something that can happen in nature too, although rare (an egg having enough chromosomes without fertilization).  To suggest that there was sperm in Mary is...unsettling.  

Shooting

Three new dreams, in almost as many days.  The oldest dream had me scheduling.  I don't think I was at work.  I remember it being difficult.  It was with a computer app of some kind.

The second had Chandra as a child, and she was possessed.  Because, why not?  So many of my dreams have been of possession.

Last night, I was trying to cut through a field get to McDonald's.  Paul was with me, and Chandra joined us.  There was a maze of chain link fence on the property.  And, as I navigated the maze, I decided to cut through a factory building.  They tried to hire me.  I declined and made good my escape.  Once outside, I found myself on a range.  There was a shooting competition going on.  I saw plenty of familiar faces.  I wanted to shoot.  I had with me--by chance--a gun I owned in the dream (not in real life).  It was a single action (bolt action) MP5 chambered in .223.  I was begging to borrow ammo.  I believe somebody pointed out that I could buy it at the counter.   I recall signing up for a 300 yards competition.  Good friggin' luck with open sights.  Then, the dream took an erotic twist, as the shooter had to be engaged in intercourse with his penis in a vagina of a woman in the "doggy" position while shooting.  What a way to shoot.  I'm not sure what that all means.

Thursday, December 14, 2023

...and I thought Alice Cooper was a bad person....

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1582163073299386378

🤔

 https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1582163073299386378?referrer=wramier

Three Piece Set

Over the last three nights, I have had three more vivid dreams.  Three nights ago, I drempt about my little brother, second youngest.  He was doing something self centered and I was so angry.  He seems to sabotage everything he touches.  I remember reaching out to throttle him out of anger.

Two nights ago, I was back at my old employer, driving forklift.  There were only two heat treat lines running, and I was trying to keep up, struggling.

Last night, I got up in the middle of the night, sick.  I remember being in the bathroom saying, I have to write this down.  When I got up at 5:30 a.m. today, I couldn't remember.  :(

Monday, December 11, 2023

John The Baptist

Sunday's reading from Mark 1:4 caught me off guard.  I haven't--don't remember--anybody using the term John The Baptizer since I studied with the Jehovah's Witnesses.  The New Revised Standard Version used this foreign term.  My comfortable Good News Version seems to have no term present.  Rather, it says that John appeared baptizing. 

Race

I was dreaming again last night.  I had bought four race tickets, two each to two different races in the States.  I was looking to sell two tickets at cost to the one race.  This was my intent all along.  I wasn't looking to make money on them.  So, I'm not sure why I bought them. 

I was at the one race (NASCAR?) with Chandra.  She wanted pop, so we were on the hunt.  I found an outside  coin operated vending machine outside of the restaurants and concession stands.  But, it was coin operated like a laundromat washing machine.  You put your quarters in a slot and pushed the silver coloured slide in.  Then, you could pour your fountain drink.  I got a swamp water or something.  Chandra appeared to dislike her drink at first, but said it was in fact good.

Sunday, December 10, 2023

Icecream Bikes

I was going to call this post classics, because it involved two iconic machines.  But, in the short time that I've been awake, I lost part of it.  

Bikes, so, in one dream I was riding a Harley-Davidson in a parking lot, trying to not get hit.  In a different dream, and with a bike, the police were looking for me because I drove over the open in use laptops that other bikers were using on the highway.  Yes, I drove through the air.  So, I had to stay off the highways for fear of being seen afterwards. I'll count these two bike dreams as one.

In my second dream, there must have been a Mustang or some other tool or machine of iconic status, but I've lost it.  I do love me a good Mustang.

Third dream, I was selling my Jeep.  I was being extremely honest with the buyers in a personal sale, whom I felt that I knew.

Last dream, I was asked to get a quote with a discount for my employer on some blueberry or blackberry ice cream from a conservative supporting distributor.  Despite the conflict of interest, I was going to explore the possibility.  When I started, the day if it being due arrived, and I hadn't looked into anything yet.

Saturday, December 9, 2023

Crazy Nights

Last night, I drempt that I was working in a fab shop.  All kinds of crazy stuff was happening, fires, explosions, forklift crashes, collisions.  Two of the guys that I work with currently were there.  The one, we'll call him Gaston, grabbed a fire extinguisher to put out a line fire before the CO2 went off.  An explosion blackened a passing truck.  I'm surprised that nobody was killed.

Friday, December 8, 2023

That's so interesting...

So, apparently I’m justified under Islam?  According to the holy Qur’an, Allah requires that I am faithful to the teachings of the Gospel.  If I am not, I am rebelling against Allah. 

Surah 5:47

 

Also, the holy Qur’an claims that Muhammed was sent as the last in a series of messengers, as a messenger to the Arabs, to warn them in Arabic, in their own language, that other messengers had already been sent to warn other peoples.  That is why the Qur’an was written in the Arabic language.

Surah 42:7

Surah 44:58

Surah 16:36

Surah 10:47

 

I also heard an interesting take on the Crucifixion in the Qur’an according to a prominent Sheikh.  His interpretation of the denial of the Crucifixion was that Allah did not allow Chris to remain dead from Crucifixion.  It only appeared that Christ died from crucifixion because He was raised to life after they thought they had killed Him.

Surah 4:157

FotL

I’m sure you’ve heard fear of the LORD many times; I know I have.  But, what does it mean?  Lots of people claim they know.  So, apparently it tells us in the book of Proverbs.

 

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+8%3A13&version=KJV

Ding!

As my check engine light continues to come on, I’m reminded of a passage that my dad got me to memorize.

 

Ecclesiastes 12 KJV - Remember now thy Creator in the days of - Bible Gateway

Thursday, December 7, 2023

Splash

Last Sautuday, I fell while running.  I was out for a 13k jog.  On the North side of Lake Victoria, I slipped in the mud, tensed up, and fell forward on my hands and knees in the mud.  I was pretty muddy, and so washed off my hands in puddle of standing water.  I was worried that my back--already terribly sore--was going to make me pay the next day.  Thanks be to God, because it wasn't too bad.  I went for a bike ride the next day instead, partly to help my back.  It has gotten quite sore, painful at times, and I'm not sure why.  From running?  Age?  Sitting at a desk all day?  Running with a hydration pack?  I did see my family doctor, who has reccomend physiotherapy. 

Dog Dream

Another night, another strange dream because, why not?  I layed down on the grass in a park beside a path.  A dog come over and layed down right beside me, touching me.  I believe it was a chocolate lab.  I was going to pet him, but--short of growling at me--he made it clear that he didn't want me to do so.  He asked me if I had any good food.  I told him that I had nothing with me, but that I would come back with some.

Later, I was in a restaurant with Cindy.  The menu changed based on where you sat.  I sat in one section, but Cindy kept on moving because she didn't like the food.  I didn't particularly like it either.  When the waitress arrived, whom I knew from Features, I told her that Cindy had moved, indicating that I was not staying. I wasn't sure where Cindy had gone.  I went back to look for the dog, but he was gone, like he didn't trust me to return.

Wednesday, December 6, 2023

As shadows lengthen...

I picked up the love of this hymn at St. Gregory's Abbey when I used to visit before COVID and I love it. I try to sing it every night before bed.

FF to 0:50

LORD Protect Me

 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms+91%3A3-6&version=NKJV

Kyrie Eleison

Lord have mercy

Christ have mercy

Lord have mercy


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8B_BLtpxQM

Eff Off With the Feels

 I had my coaching session today for my Emotional Intelligence class.  It was uncomfortable and awkward.  I don't like talking about myself.  But, the whole experience left me feeling down in the dumps, depressed, unaccomplished, and unfulfilled in life.  Am I where I'm supposed to be?

I wonder if talking about emotional stuff actually makes you more emotional.  I, being one who prefers to bottle things up, never feel like this really helps.  Actually, in the course's section on regulating emotions, it suggests that we use less intense words, like frustrated rather than angry when we are upset, mildly anxious rather than terrified when we are nervous; if we think it we follow.  And, we can reduce emotional outbursts by arguing with our limbic system.  That's not really how I feel/what is going on & things are okay.  It reminds me of what Morgan Freeman said about not talking about racism all the time and it will stop being a huge problem in society.

I feel like, in days of yore, people were tougher, didn't talk about how they felt all the time.  Life was tough and they survived.  Are we soft?  Is all this touchy feely crap making us week?  Many (many) experts say it makes us stronger.  I have almost never had a fit of rage at work because I bottled up my emotions.  I don't wear my emotions on my sleeve.  And, I question the value of this feely approach, as I question so very many things.  I want to be strong, have my shit together, and be the rock that others can depend on.

Moreover, I feel week because of it.  It this helpful?  I don't feel strong, or in control, or useful when I start to explore this stuff.  As Dennis Leary said, "Life sucks.  Wear a helmet."  I know I'm not doing what I wanted, and also that that particular boat has sailed.  I never served, never a soldier, never a sailor, never a police officer.  I never even found a profession where I helped people.  I never was called to any particular ministry by God either.  

I feel supremely underappreciated and undervalued in my current role, unnoticed like Mr. Burns never remembering Homer's name, never recognized or even thanked.  Not only am I flying far below the radar, I never get any kind of positive feed back, or feedback in any form.  I'm constantly micromanaged by numerous levels above and feel that accomplishing my vision for my department is an outlandish pipe dream, a farcical whim.  I'm still performing the job of a specialist, not leaving me time to manage my team, and feel criticized for not managing.

So, in this deep dark well that I have sunken into tonight, I will turn to the LORD for help, as I always hate to do; I never want to turn to Him *because* I am in need, but to chose Him because it is right and my duty in times when I don't *need* to do so, free choice.

The Wicked

 The dreams continue.  Last night, I drempt that I was back at Hendrickson, at my old job.  I don't really remember a whole lot about it now; but, enough about dreams.  

I wanted to post about the 34th psalm.  It is obviously a messianic psalm.  His bones wouldn't be broken.  Some translations include the promise of eternal life.  The end always gets me.  Evil will slay the wicked.  🤔

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms+34&version=NIV


Monday, December 4, 2023

Carrier Ballroom

Two more strange dreams, I had a night of broken sleep.  In the first dream, I was the captain of a fleet carrier in space.  It was a very cool ship, which deployed like a howitzer.  I don't recall ever firing the gun.  And, I don't recall an actual enemy.  Although, I did have a bitter arch rival with another carrier.  The setting had a very post apocalyptic feel to it.

I had a second dream that I remember.  I was able to escape a ball room with an erie eternal feel to it, where a brawl had broken out.  Once outside with the other peaceful people, I tried to convince them to seal the violent people inside the ballroom by piling tables and chairs against the only exit.  They refused.  I began on my own, and was caught red handed,  as they began to make their was outside.  Later, I was trying to check in to a hotel in a future time for some convention or other, but the front desk clerk wouldn't check my two scoped M-16s, even though they had in the past done this for me.  I got the distinct impression that it was in retaliation for trying to seal him in the ballroom.

The second dream felt oddly connected to the first.  Although, I was awake between dreams in the early hours of the morning.

Sunday, December 3, 2023

Gifts and Fruit

 Gifts                                                            Fruit

Message of Wisdom                                     Love

Message of Knowledge                                Joy

Faith                                                             Peace

Healing                                                         Forbearance

Miraculous powers                                       Kindness

Prophesy                                                       Goodness

Distinguishing between Spirits                    Faithfulness

Speaking if different kinds of tongues        Gentleness

Interpretation of different tongues              Self-control

 

I'm doing okay, really, but by check engine light is coming on from time to time.

 How will I praise You if I go down to the pit, oh LORD?  I think I understand what King David was saying here.  My use, in so far as I at least can praise, will end if my time is cut short.

...just aches and pains, I'm not 20 anymore.

Happy Advent Everybody

 Today, our rector Allie said that we should be like a candle, shining our little light in the darkness.  I like that.

Idolatry or Reverence

The altar at the front of the Church is traditional.  Many new Churches don't have it.  The altar is bowed to, not to worship the altar, but to give God the respect due Him.

My daughter gave me a Boston Red Sox hat.  I wear it all the time.  It's dirty and old.  I won't even let my wife clean it, for fear of wrecking the stitching or the fabric.  My daughter gave it to me as a gift, with money of her own from her part time job.  It is very special to me.  I don't love the hat; I love her.  And, because she gave it to me, it is special to me.

Stay in Your Lane

 Three nights in a row, I have had strange dreams.  I lost most of this one, as I didn't write it down when I got up or take mental notes.  I was driving, my driver side window frosted up so that I couldn't see, and I changed lanes out of fear, not seeing that I narrowly missed rear ending a car.

Saturday, December 2, 2023

Wacked Out Dream

I was on my bicycle.  I had to pick up my dad and his girlfriend (yes, on my bike).  I biked through a retirement home at one point.  It was very nice in there, all kinds of specialty rooms.  Then, I was biking down Ontario street.  I was late getting them.  I was peddling so hard, or it was hard to peddle.  I was at his girlfriend's house, trying not to let her dog out.  They were not there.  I continued on Ontario street.  This was not his real life girlfriend, I don't believe..  My brothe Leslier was in my dream, but I can't remember how now, but it was connected to an old video game or book somehow.  I lost my backpack somewhere along the way with my work laptop in it.  I was panicking.   I was still late.  At one point I cut through someone's side yard of an old house.  They tried to tell me about an old classic movie that they liked.  I realized it was because their face was ugly like the fictional (muppet) characters.

Paging Dr. Freud.  Paging Dr. Sigmund Freud. 

Friday, December 1, 2023

2 for 1

I had two strange dreams last night.  The first was that they found cancer in my fight leg.  May God will it not be so, in Jesus' name, Amen.  I'm not sure why I would have drempt that.

Second, I drempt that I had I was a tanker.  I guess I was the gunner, though I think I was driving too.  The tank was a manual targeting system, and I had a hard time aiming successfully on the move.  My ammo was also super low.  I had to hit one tank multiple times to kill it.  Another accidentally turned it's rear to me, and I couldn't fire fast enough.  It started burning after the first shot, and I was pouring them in mercilessly.  I didn't ever see anybody else in my tank; I may have been alone.  I did take one shot at enemy infantry, but I don't know if I hit them.  Again, what made me dream this?

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

Psalms 144 & 146

We are a but a puff of smoke.  We go back into the Earrh.

Trouble

 Exodus tells me some things that are somewhat disconcerting.  Exodus 23:13 tells me that I shouldn't even utter the name of another god, which I do often.  When I read/study mythology, when I play D&D, I do so often, actually.  

Exodus 22:28 tells me that I shouldn't be talking about how incompetent Trudeau is.  I do this often as well. 

I should be in a lot of trouble, right?  The great thing is that, although not always the best actions, these things don't damn me.  Jesus released us from the law, according to St. Paul.  But, you should go back and read all these things in context.


Knives Kill

The UK recently had a campaign to reduce knife violence in a country where people can't own guns, proving people kill.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Testing Kant or Proving Out Universallization

So, my wife and I went bowling on Saturday.  We had fun.  But, at one point, she said, "You're not letting me win, are you?"  So, because that's not outside the realm of possibility, that I would do so in order for her to have fun, the doubt was in her mind.  

I replied, "I'm trying to win, damn it," which I was.  But, deceitful actions cannot be universallized because nobody would trust anyone.  I guess that makes them unethical.

Why do we need a Federal Government

 I wonder.  Working from the premise that decentralization is a good thing, and that less government is more liberty, why do we even have a federal government?  Sure, money, treaties, and national defense need to be managed.  That is true.  But, for more local control, why doesn't the cabinet of each province just manage the nation?  They're accountable to voters.  Really, download 90% of the responsibility to the province and get rid of the bloated bureaucracy and give us back out money.

Sunday, November 19, 2023

There's so much good stuff in this one

I just finished reading the 19th Psalm.  It says that, as I chant it, I ask God for Him to forgive my secret sins.  It says that I ask Him to not let them get dominion over me.  It says that I ask for my thoughts and words to be acceptable.  Wow, there is so much grace here.

Can we give away as much money as we want?

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1568810417034104843

Inflation

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1569473262784614409

What does it mean to help the poor.

The Lord said that we would always have the poor with us.  I remember what Thomas Sowell said about social programs and how they hurt the poor, the very people they were designed to help.  The question has been asked, "why is it greed to want to keep what you work for but not greed to take from others what you did not work for?"  Also, "how much of my pay cheque are you entitled to and why?"  Teaching a man to fish is better.  When you feed the waterfowl, you change their migration patterns in an unnatural way and they become dependent.  I mean, it is the path of least resistance. Making people dependent on the government takes away their dignity and their liberty.  It also makes them a nonproductive cancer on society.  Why do so many people think that the Lord's command to help the poor means Socialism?  Why does help=Marxism?

Invest

Today's Gospel reading was the parable of the master who gave three slaves money and one of them buried it.  To me, this story has always been about witnessing.  It does the community no good to bury your faith in the ground.  You have to invest it in others.

Friday, November 17, 2023

Do these women hate themselves?

 Is this trend of manvocates just women opportunists, or are they tapping into the market of the seas of disenfranchised men in the tsunami of woke leftist Post Modernist Feminist policy?  Young men are feeling resentful, and these ladies are cashing in.

https://youtu.be/SonnoBPr514?si=BIIQtWVZsUhJQC9Z

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaLjqTYl8OY

https://youtu.be/d4-KUgNbpKM?si=c1uzWeY4cngEckpq&t=78

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNErQFmOwq0&t=161s

https://youtu.be/3WMuzhQXJoY?si=8S5gRO-mMYUugKTN

https://youtu.be/RlSwsE22nX0?si=-4wtwlZVHCIMr_H1 



She's right you know, about thanks...

Perl was right:

https://youtu.be/lwx-OjmEXTo?si=uBCMjiFalv_j7PiA

The mortgage, I've been paying it since we bought our house.  It was almost impossible at first.  We didn't split the bills, my wife and I.  I paid the mortgage and the utilities...and the insurance on both.  We've been in our home for 13 years.  On $16/hour, it was tough, all I could do.  After I started paying my daughter's university student loan, I started falling behind (dept/line of credit).  I spent 25 years in a factory, sacrificing for my family.  Nobody made me do this.  I chose it.  I wanted to provide for my family, like instinct and duty.  Some say this is Toxic Masculinity.  I say it is love.  I realized for the first time last week that, anybody can pay our mortgage now.  Groceries and clothing are now almost as much as I pay for our home.  The mortgage--death contract--is not big deal anymore.  It's trifling.  Inflation has robbed me of my worth, my sacrifice.  It's not appreciated, what I do, what I have done.  It goes unnoticed.  It's, "meh, no big deal."  For years as I fought to tread water, racking up debt, paying for a car, house, utilities, insurance, working overtime, sacrificing career and dreams, inflation has made me unappreciated as I will have lived a life and entered the grave doing no more than the minimum expected of me.

Sunday, October 29, 2023

we are so programmed.

 So, yesterday there was a deal at a premium coffee establishment whose name may or may not rhyme with bar tucks.  The deal was that if you spend $15, you get a reward.  Stupid us, we tried to *earn* the reward.  We're sheeple.  We wouldn't have bought *anything* yesterday.  Now, we are doubling or tripling our order.  They boosted their sales with this gimmick, in our case more than double, when they otherwise wouldn't have sold us coffee at all.


So, what's the worst part of it all?  It had to be $15 in one visit, so we went back.  🤔

Saturday, October 28, 2023

Does the rooster crowing cause the sun rise?

I've long championed the idea that correlation does not prove causation.  Let me paint you a pictire.

If you look at a graph of legalized marijuana use/sales since 2015 and the unemployment rate, you will likely come to the conclusion that marijuana use is causing people to loose motivation. 

But, that is not the case; there are other variables.  One is not causing the other.  They are both caused by a common problem, a liberal government. 

Still More

If God wills it, may I never be in such pain or terror that I am tempted to believe it is the best option.

More

Dad used to say that life was a gift.  And, to end it yourself was to throw that gift back in God's face.

Self-Murder

I've became aware of a disturbing trend on (woke?) YouTube, the censorship of the word suicide.  Are we not allowed to talk about it anymore?

In the current climate, there is sentiment to support legal assistance in dying, which opens up the arguement about protecting the elderly, disabled, and the mentally ill; but, that I won't argue here.  Just be aware that the movement exists and already has supportive legislation. 

The current climate also has a well intentioned pro-mental health awareness campaign to snuff out the use of the phrase committed suicide and also the phrase attempted suicide.  The thought process is that, with the latter, a failed attempt barb aimed at a depressed person that they can't even get that right is not helpful.  With the former phrase, maybe it is to remove the negative connotation from the deceased's memory (not sure).

My views on the above and on ending of one's own life is as follows.  Religious arguement aside, because I have strong views here too, it is so wrong; it's the most selfish evil thing a person can do.  Nothing is worse, certainty.  The person doesn't just hurt themselves.  They are causing loved ones to live with that pain, crippling guilt in some cases, and the heart wrenching breath taking choking grief of the finality of the loss of that person's love, presence in their life, and touch.  They are--my view--murdering the loved one of a social and family group.  And, that is wrong.  The it's my life anyway mentality is so very self-centered. 

Furthermore, this is being normalized and endeared to us now.  Aside from putting people with poor mental health and the disabled at risk, it makes it easier to take one's life, promotes it.  It removes the social barriers that make it more difficult and makes it a good thing.  My thoughts...

Rome wasn't objectified in a day you know.

I decided to take a class on Ancient Rome.  The textbook is permeated with woke language, feminism, postmodernism, socialism, atheism.  It makes me long for a textbook from the 1900s so that I can read a balanced counterpart to this woke nonsense.  This, like other modern disciplines, makes me wonder if the scientists of Germany in the 40s experienced similar emotions, in reaction to the Nazi propaganda that was forced to infect their otherwise objective science.

Sunday, October 8, 2023

Windblower

I had a dream recently that I was rebuilding my sailboat, building another wooden sailboat.  I miss my boat, truly a heartwrenching donation after hours of blood and sweat to build her.

Remembering

I was at work last week, deleting old e-mails, when I found an e-mail to my then boss telling him that my father had passed away.  That same night, the appointed psalm for the evening was the 23rd psalm.  I don't believe that it was coincidence.  It was a poignant reminder of mortality and loss.

Monday, September 4, 2023

It's been so political for so long that it's hard to stay objective

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1545070845288779789

He died of thirst? Quick, get that man a drink of water!

I was thinking of how reactive--and it sucks because it's socialist with long wait times and limited treatment options, but I don't want to get off topic too much--our health care system is.  It seems to do very little in the way of proactive screening.

When Mike died of a heart attack while out running, I was reassured by a doctor that it was from an undiagnosed heart condition.  Well, of course it was. Like that's supposed to make me feel better about running.  That incident left me with a lot of mental baggage, by the way.

But, my point is that we work backwards.  I was thinking of my uncle, who had a heart attack.  He gets rushed to the hospital, they find a blockage, and they install a stint or some damn thing.  That is all reactive.

Why didn't they know before he had a heart attack that there was a blockage? I'm sure there are tests they can do.  Wouldn't that be better for everybody?

And me, I had a stress test (5 years ago) because I was worrying about jogging and had pressure in my chest.  Well, all was good.  ...then.  But, how does an undiagnosed heart condition develope?

And, there's no way that my 80 year old step-father should have to wait three months for tests.  You'd be better off driving to Buffalo and paying for the tests.

And, when I had a colonoscopy seven or so years ago, I was told that I should have one every five years, as they found polyps and my aunt and grandfather had bowel cancer.  Yet, they are now saying it's every ten years.  

So, did the science change, or is this wait time?  More importantly, if catching cancer early is key, how much does cancer advance/grow in ten years?  Do I go to the hospital once I have abdominal pain?  That's how reactive healthcare works.

It's such a shitty system, made worse by socialism.  Tests exist; yet, we do very little to be proactive.

Sunday, September 3, 2023

Evil is Good

 https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1545138486951022605?referrer=wramier

 

Letter of the law vs. spirit of the law

 I had a strange dream last night.  Without getting into the details of my dream, I think it's sucking ftupid that we would charge somebody with murder who shot and stopped a mass shooter at a public school.

Sunday, August 27, 2023

Logic

There is a difference between saying, "excuse me Miss, give me your coldest most satisfying drink," to the barista, and, "give me your most satisfying cold drink."  And, it floors me how many people don't understand the difference.

Similarly, if I say that a lot of people cheat on their taxes, many people don't understand that I'm not saying that most people do.  It's crazy.

Nobody seems to think about what they say anymore; yes, I realize that I used an absolute there.  Oh, the irony.  Are we lazy, too lazy to think?

We can't seem to reason.  We can't follow.

Remember, all dogs are not beagles, yet all beagles are dogs.

Monday, August 21, 2023

Another Milestone, Rite of Passages

So, my wife said to me that I should dye my beard, too much gray.

Psalm 74

I read this psalm several nights ago.  My first thought was about how hard it must have been for the ancient Israelites to witness the destruction of the sacred.  The holy temple being destroyed must have made them feel helpless, depressed, and without reason to hope. 

Later, when it mentions Leviathan being killed and given in the desert for food, was this fed to them for meat?  Was this the Israelites food?  I remember hearing once that it rained lung tissue in America, and nobody knew why.  

Then, it mentions a dragon?  Wait, have I read this psalm before?

Sunday, August 6, 2023

Sunday, July 30, 2023

Message

Adam - evil soul/heart
Emotion conversion
Paul - evil I don't want
Don't decorate you cell
No condemnation 4 belong 

Wednesday, July 26, 2023

Woke From a Dream

 I had a dream last night that I was in some kind of Woke training at work.  I was getting so mad and arguing with the contractor who was doing the training.  They were pushing Critical Race Theory and blaming White people for everything.  I thought I was going to get fired.

I talked about the Toronto Police Service turning me away in 2009 because I wasn't a minority.  I talked about being refused service in Quebec in the 80s being an Anglophone.  I talked about the running standard in 1998 for the mile and a half for men vs. women.  I said that I wouldn't have White Privilage in China, and that it's not attributed to race or skin colour, this privilege.  And, Caucasians are in the minority; there are less than 2 billion of us in the world, I said. Where was my privilege when I needed it.  I even payed my own way through college.  I told the room that the gold standard was judging an individual by the content of their character rather than by the colour of their skin!  I was so angry.  I accused the contractor instructor of being raciest, attributing characteristics to me based on skin colour.  I said that it was a violation of the Ontario Human Rights code to force me to sit through the training; I was experiencing discrimination based on colour.  As a matter of fact, I went on to say that, I was being harassed; the contractor was using vexatious comments and aught to have known that they would be unwelcome.  I awakened from my dream before I was fired.  So angry, I couldn't get back to sleep.

It's coming, this Woke BS.  I've already sat through a training in the past year where they've broached the Woke ideology, introducing inherent bias (unconscious bias?) as a proven theory, the Canadian Mental Health Association I think.

Friday, July 21, 2023

Sound of Freedom

What a disturbing movie that was.  I was afraid of how I would react.

R.I.D.E.

I got pulled over for a R.I.D.E. check this evening after a few beers.  I blew zero.  I don't understand.  I had my last drink about 5:15 p.m. and blew about 7:30 p.m.  I expected something.  I guess a drink an hour works.

Am I now heartless?

I can't help but wondering if we're doing more harm than good for the poor.

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1529138700024287233

Thursday, July 20, 2023

Sad Haunting Song

 I wonder why this song is such an ear worm for me.  It's haunting.  I don't even like Country & Western as a genera.  If I want to armchair shrink myself, it's a live lived.  A hard life, a strong man who accomplished little.  As I continue to roll with the punches in a battle with the NDD, I see maybe a reflection of myself?  Maybe?  It's a sad haunting tale of a time gone by, a lifestyle that no longer exists.  A story is told in this song.  A sad story is told that I can understand and am strangely captivated by.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU8As9ymPvw


They can't sit still.

The Big Five personality index would say they are high in Consciousness, always have been. They can't sit and visit.

Saturday, July 15, 2023

That we may perfectly love You, and worthily magnify Your holy name

I was praying the Penetential Office the other day, when I got to the, "cleans the thoughts of our hearts," part, when my mind went off on a tangent. 

I thought, "when it says heart, it means mind.  Because, long ago people thought intent and emotion formed in the heart.  But, how does dopamine and serotonin factor in, endorphins?  Does He give us a support to cope with biochemicals?  Or, maybe counter them?  I mean, I believe that we are more than just animals, more than just a meat computer.  We have free will.  

Does He protect us from biochemistry when He cleanses our hearts?  Or, does He give us spiritual strength to deal with it?"  It would be interesting to have the perspective of somebody from NA or AA, I think.

Psalm 103

I was looking at a family photo that someone had posted--mom, dad, two kids under 10--on LinkedIn, and I thought:  People say they want to have a family, but really they mean that they want to be a family.  It's a moment in time, fleeting, and it ends.  That moment, like a family pose for a portrait, becomes a bittersweet memory.  Kids grow up.  Mom's and dads inherent empty nests.  Cherish the moment as you live it!

Saturday, June 3, 2023

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Simple, Easy, Just Right

I saw an internet meme for mental health awareness, with the word committed scratched out and the words died by written in it's place in Committed Suicide. I understand they want to fight stigma.  But, do we need this?  Do we want to remove the negativity?  It makes it easier for those left behind.  Does it make it easier for the mentally I'll to take their life, if we remove negative connotations?

Wednesday, May 31, 2023

There Is No Happily Ever After

Rachell is gone.  I'm disappointed that God didn't save her.  I can relate to St. Martha.  Lord, if You had come, she would not have died.  I'm disappointed.  In Christ's name, forgive me Father.  Amen.  I'm also disappointed in myself, however.  My faith was weak.  I failed.  It seems so unfair, and she was too young to leave this world, which makes me somewhat angry.  I'm sure her husband and daughter are very angry indeed.  LORD, I ask that you comfort them in Jesus' name.  Amen.  I'm sad.  It isn't right. She and Tony were so young; they didn't get their happily ever after. 

Gangsters

I had a wierd dream last night that I was being continually kidnapped.  I was late unplugging an electric kettle, so they threw the boiling water on me.  I was released, as per the daily customer, and became resolved to fight back.  I then woke up.

Rachell

After months of praying for her, her funeral was yesterday.  Returning home yesterday, I read tha assigned psalms, 144 & 146.  Fitting, they were ponient.  We are a puff in the wind.

E12

My gobbledygook is getting bigger.

Sunday, May 7, 2023

Mediocrity

The hated arch enemy of Marxism is not Capitalism; it is Meritocracy.   It is because of Productive Privilage.  Those who produce more, have more.      The lazy woke mob wants to get paid for not producing.  They will prove out any Marxist sub-ideology to justify their inaction toward being productive.    Like unions that protect the lazy and incompetent worker, Socialism rewards mediocrity and promotes a bare minimum effort.  There is no incentive for anything else.  #socialism #NeoMarxism #PostModernism #marxism #politics 

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1502004091629342739

🤔

https://m.facebook.com/MagnusAlmighty/videos/773808184157203/?vh=e&extid=MSG-UNK-UNK-UNK-AN_GK0T-GK1C&device_id=a6d976ba-7d94-4f5d-b084-90ef96f780aa&wtsid=rdr_0j0ApuGuP4WIiY0kA

Saturday, May 6, 2023

Patrick Henry - Guard with jealous attention the public...

I have observed that tyranny builds slowly; layers of restrictions to liberty are--or can be--built slowly.  If so done, people seem to be more ready to accept them, these restrictions. History has taught me that, liberty can only be restored through bloody revolution.  Unfortunately, the second half of that Patrick Henry quote is quite dismal. 

https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/patrick_henry_101581

Jewel

I think it was Partick Henry who said that you have to act like liberty is a precious jewel that you have to defend from those trying to steal it.

Fw: Let's Settle This - The results are in!

I was arguing--passionately--with Paul about Free Speech.  I put it to the audience. 


----- Forwarded Message -----
From: "Let's Settle This" <no-reply@letssettlethis.com>
To: "wramier@yahoo.com" <wramier@yahoo.com>
Cc:
Sent: Tue, Nov 19, 2019 at 6:00 PM
Subject: Let's Settle This - The results are in!
Let's Settle This

The results are in! Brother 2 received 100% of the votes. It's settled!


Situation: My brother and I were having a debate about free speech. He said that you shouldn't have the right to say something if it hurts somebody else. He continued to counter with the statement that people can not be trusted with freedom of speech. I see it as a step toward totalitarianism. Who gets to decide what is okay, what is hurt, how to punish?

Brother 1: It should be illegal to say certain things.

Brother 2: Freedom of speech is an extension of freedom of thought, otherwise you are in the closet and persecuted for beliefs.

© 2019 LetsSettleThis, LLC

You Can Have Too Much Freedom

Is there a more repugnant phrase?  I don't believe the Marquis de Lafayette went far enough.  With his except whens peppered throughout his declaration, he effectively neutralized it.  I thought Jefferson did a much better job with his so long as stays within the boundary drawn around you by others clause.  But, even that doesn't go far enough.  I would say, not limited by law, not limited by others, your liberty should only be limited if it reduces the liberty of others, no other reason is ethical.  That makes me a radical.