Everybody hopes that they are fondly remembered. I hope that when I pass away that my funeral is well attended, that people feel the world is a shittier place without me. Nobody wants to be an A hole. I'm no different. I've seen some well attended funerals, standing room only, for some great people. They touched the lives of many. I don't try to be an A hole. However, I like to think that I am a principled man. It's more important that I be true to myself than be liked. Just look at my social media accounts. If you're not consistent, they're not really values. I am an A hole by default.
Monday, December 30, 2019
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Knight Mare
I had a dream last night that a grim reaper was standing at the side of my bed. Her name was Becky. She said that it was time to go. I asked if I could say goodbye to my family. She said no. I awoke and searched the room with my eyes in the dark for Becky. I hate dreams where I'm in bed--my bed--in the dream. It was so real.
Free People
I saw & liked the new Star wars, now I have to decide why (digest it).
I picked on a theme of liberty in the new Star wars, flying in the face of tyranny:
When the tyrant asks where the navy came from, a henchman replies that it's not a navy, just people.
The importance of the US 2nd Amendment is evident.
Blessing
I'm not a priest; but, I'd like to perform a blessing: To ML, when your children are in their adolescent years, and they are experimenting with various drugs, and you can only worry alone at home on your couch, because you can't control their lives, and they make their own decisions and are their own people, may they not have somebody in their lives telling them that their actions are good, acceptable, and wholesome.
Monday, December 23, 2019
God Speaks
Yesterday, I really felt that God was speaking to me through the scriptures. Given the family problems we are having, and the tumult that could have happened yesterday, He spoke directly to me. I was reminded that I relied on myself rather than on God. I was reminded that I was dependent on violence. I was reminded that my decisions would being destruction on myself. Yesterday was a highly stressful day, and I was on edge and highly stressed. When I stopped to pray the daily office, Isaiah screamed at me.
Her Majesty
Several days ago, I had a dream that the Queen passed away. It was very sad and felt very real.
Mars
I had a dream last night that I had a summer home on a Mars colony. Chandra didn't like the water, which was triple filtered from the house sewage; she drank all my beer. New neighbors moved in and were upset that I had a car that was burning bio-diesel and pumping out CO2. We had a deadline to get home, but Chandra cracked another beer. I told her she had to drink it fast before we left.
Sunday, December 22, 2019
Psalm 103 (so much) & a touch of 34 & dollop of 49
No matter how bad I am, I have hope. "He will not always accuse us, nor will he keep his anger for ever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor rewarded us according to our wickedness. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so is his mercy great upon those who fear him." 103:9-13
But, our lives are finite. We will get old and die. "Our days are line the grass, we flourish like a flower of the field; When the wind goes over it, it is gone, and its place shall know it no more," a sobering thought, contemplating your own mortality...even aging and the breaking down of the body. 103:15-16
But, there is hope yet of life after death. "He redeems your life from the grave and crowns you with mercy and loving-kindness" 103:4
Hope, "the Lord is full of compassion and mercy, slow to anger and of great kindness." 103:8
If the wages of sin are death, our lives have been purchased. "The Lord ransoms the life of his servants, and none will be punished who trust in him." 103:22
We can't do it alone. "We can never ransom ourselves, or deliver to God the price of our life; For the ransom of our life is so great, that we should never have enough to pay it, in order to live for ever and ever, and never see the grave." 49:6-8
Again, we are faced with our own mortality as, "we see that the wise die also; like the dull and stupid they perish and leave their wealth to those who come after them. Their graves shall be their homes for ever, their dwelling places from generation to generation, though they call the lands after their own names. Even though honoured, they cannot live for ever; they are like the beasts that perish." 49:9-11
For the ransomed, there is hope of life eternal. "But God will ransom my life; he will snatch me from the grasp of death." 49:15
8 The Lord said to Moses, "Make a snake and put it up on a pole; anyone who is bitten can look at it and live." 9 So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, they lived. Numbers 21:8-9
14 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up,[f] 15 that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him."[g] 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. John 14-18
Saturday, December 21, 2019
Holographic Universe Principle
What if we are in a computer simulation, like the matrix? What if Near Death Experiences are waking up in the real world? Hell?
Strange Dream Last Night
Freudian friends unite! So, I had a dream that our Vice President at work was in charge of a Satanic haunted escape room sex dungeon that was a sort of Dagohba force cave of sorts. We made our way to the exit and were out; but, saddened, not before I found a disturbing doll of my daughter dresses in dominatrix gear in a glass case at the end of the last room by the exit. I took (rescued) the doll, and hid it behind my back from the other characters in the dream. Then for some messed up reason, we entered the next room, going back into the escape room complex again.
Carl Jung was a dream guy too. And, I like him better anyway. Maybe he could help.
Strange Dream Two Nights Ago
I had a dream that I was firing a home made rocket. It was made from the 22" circumference vacuum separator bodies we used to build when I worked at Eurovac. It launched violently and soared to an amazing height before entering unstable flight and crashing spectacularly with a brutish impact. Not sure what it all means, I have no idea.
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Dark Thoughts for a Dark Day
If time is malleable and every thing that will ever happen already has, maybe Hitler was the better option; maybe somebody went back in time and killed somebody much worse that allowed Hitler to rise in his place.
Freedom & Liberty
One thing that we humans have been great at over the last 10 000+ years is forcing other humans to live by the rules we decide they should have to live by.
Monday, December 16, 2019
Windblower
I had a dream last night that I had my sailboat back and that I sold it to my brother and we sailed it. It was a beautiful thing.
News
I watched the six O'clock news on Global last night, and all it did was make me angry. It's just a liberal echo chamber. So much for investigative journalism. They truly do tell you what to think.
Saturday, December 14, 2019
So This Upset Me
Monday, December 9, 2019
At What Point Do We Become a Threat to Extra Terestrials?
All of these Eco Activists are crying over my four cylinder Jeep. meanwhile, we have enough nuclear weapons to destroy all life on Earth 7 times over. And, there's enough antimatter in Switzerland to destroy our solar system!
Why There is a Rift Between My Parish and I
It isn't just that the national Church has it's left turn signal stick on: The Church is pushing ideas that I don't agree with or support, including abortion, civil disarmament, environmentalism (which I see as bringing Gaia into the temple of God (Abomination of Desolation? ), or as C.S. Lewis spoke about, using Christianity as a means to an end); afirmative action, socialism, social engineering, feminism, the doctrines of white privilage, toxic masculinity, and colour blind racism, exegesis and the reinterpretation of traditional meanings of scripture, pluralism, segregation, cultural censorship, antisemitism, justified (in their way of reasoning) discrimination, C.S. Lewis' Historical Jesus, and I could go on and on and on. I can't donate and pay to support these things. I believe that it was Thomas Jefferson (or Mills) who said that it was tyrannical to ask someone to pay to support things they opposed. I donate almost all of my Church money to the Building Fund (temple).
It isn't just that they have become intolerant to traditionalists and conservatives: They preach tolerance and they love the phrases big tent and draw the circle wider; They include those who were traditionally shunned and excluded by the Church and feel they have "fixed" the Church, all the while being willfully blind to the absolute dictatorial oppression of diversity of thought and opinion. I realize that I'm behind enemy lines. Sometimes I think that God keeps me here as a witness. I can't imagine that I do ANY good.
It isn't just the snotty people and the clicks: They exist; They exist everywhere; We have a Power Block that laments the involvement of members in the business of the Church publicly, while privately they plot and manipulate to consolidate power and offer no opportunity outside of the ample menial tasks.
It's also the wounds that will not heal. I will explain.
Many years ago now, I was very much involved in the work of the Church. I was on the Diocese of Huron's Anglican Fellowship of Prayer's board of directors. I was on my parish's board of directors (Parish Council); they're a dime a dozen with as many as 25 members. I created the parish web page and Facebook page. I volunteered at the parish's food bank and separate entity hosted soup kitchen. I maintained the Parish Web page, YouTube channel, Facebook page, and Flickr account. I spent hours every Sunday after Church on YouTube alone. That was my ministry. For my involvement in the food bank, I received the Bishop's Award for excellence in Ministry. From my Parish leadership (only priests excluded), I receive nothing but complaints, criticism, and occasional scorn.
I told myself that I wasn't doing it for thanks. Although, I realize of course that it is a psychological need. But, after the event, I chose to walk away from my ministries...all of them. During the very ceremony of gratitude for my ministries to the Church (led by our priest), our Decon publicly berated me for their inadequacy. It was a knife in the ribs. And, it will not heal. I have forgiven, but the pain of betrayal is fresh in my mind.
The event, you may ask what the event to which I refer may be. I will endeavor to keep it somewhat short. During my active ministries, I attended a Vestry meeting (annual general meeting). This meeting included the election of parish officers. Normally, there are four wardens in the parish. Two are appointed by the priest and two are elected by the Vestry. Wardens share power in the parish with the priest. The priest has power over/responsibility for all matters of worship. The wardens have power over/responsibility for parish assets. As the Vestry meeting came to a close, there was a vacancy remaining in the office of Deputy Warden; Rector's or People's I can no longer recall. Not one person at Vestry stood for nomination or volunteered. After Vestry, I approached the Priest and offered to serve as Deputy Warden and fill the gap or vacant office. He thanked me and said he would discuss it with leadership.
I was contacted some time later and informed that they were going to ask somebody else to fill the office. It was a knife in the back. It has not heeled. I strongly believe the fact that I don't think the same way they do strongly influenced their decision, probably due to my extremely vocal social media activity. The priest offered me the conciliatory position of Altar Server. It was clear to me from that point on that, to leadership, I was only good for grunt work and as a source of revenue.
The rift goes deep and I have lost all trust. My faith, I'm sure, suffers for it. I try to be a light on my own. My wife and I still attend our parish in the winter months sporadically. My givings are down too (I can not support that) and I no longer even try to tith properly. God forgive me.
Sunday, December 1, 2019
Begin At The Beginning
So, I had a new thought today. Or, it was given to me. Dad always says that when Grandpa said that it came to him, Grandma would reply, "Came to you? You mean you took a notion in your head." But, I digress. My new thought, which very well may have been given to me, is that it may not be ritualism itself that is bad.
It's a new season, a new beginning. Today is the first day of Advent, a time of renewal and of preperation. As we begin the season of Advent, this morning's reading is from the first chapter of Isaiah. I was surprised that, unlike my evangelical friend's view that ritual is bad, Isaiah seems to be saying that sin is what defiles the rite and makes it displeasing to God. Hhm, not maybe the practices and motions we go through, God hates our evil. Interesting...
Saturday, November 9, 2019
Saturday, September 14, 2019
:(
I am often told by those I know that I obsess about things. But, that is what I do. I am still deeply saddened by my daughter loosing her first dog that she loved so much. The image of her sitting outside the veterinary college waiting room, cradling that dashound like a child, incapacitated with sorrow, weeping unabashedly (nothing else mattered in that moment), is a mental image that still greaves me and at the time was painful and a herculean task to have to witness and be part of.
Everybody prayed for the dog to have some virus or something that would pass with treatment. I, being a pessimist, assumed the worst would be that they would recommend expensive surgery that would cost $6000+ and that Chandra would incur massive debt. Nobody expected that they would say that the dog couldn't be cured nor treated and must be put down immediately. Chandra was so close to the little animal and was already struggling with hard times. It seemed so unfair and was so heartwrenching. She, like I, am still sad...except more so.
@wramier: �� https://twitter.com/wramier/status/1166198241395957766/photo/1 Shared via TweetCaster
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Strange Dream Again
I had a dream that there were three shooters at work; we had an active shooter situation. Let me start at the beginning. I awoke in the hospital from a coma and I was in bad shape. I had been found face down on the concrete with my tongue out on the concrete. Why was that an important thing? I also had amnesia and couldn't remember the last several weeks or more. I remember asking the psychologist questions upon hearing that there was an active shooter. I remember asking if people died and the answer was yes. I remember asking sheepishly if I killed anybody, and the psychologist reluctantly responded with a yes, probably not wanting to cause me stress. I later discovered that there were almost 50 people killed. As it turned out, much of the blame was laid at my feet as I fought back. Many felt that I provoked the shooters. After much investigation, I learned that I neutralized the first shooter, took his AK-47 and fired into the air at the base of the front outside stairwell to get any other shooters to surrender. Note: My work does not have at outside front stairwell. It alerted the other two shooters to my position. I guess the second shooter and I must have shot each other. As the third shooter rampaged, he passed me by as I was face down with my tongue on the concrete. Scores of friends and coworkers had been killed. Here's where the dream took a weird twist. I went back in time, I guess in my own body a la Quantum Leap with Scott Bacula. (Because, there weren't two of me). I decided to right my wrong. This time, I fired no warning shots. After I neutralized the first shooter and took his AK, I first shot and killed the second shooter, then the third. No hostages were killed. Okay Freudian deal analysis people, what's going on?
Friday, August 23, 2019
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Seven days without prayer makes one weak.
So, I've now gone several days without praying the office. Sometimes I am too tired, don't have enough time, don't think my heart is in the right place. The days add up quickly. I've been negligent. Sure, I say grace over a meal when I eat and give thanks for other things, say a quick "forgive me Father" when I catch myself breaking the Golden Rule; but, I don't spend any significant time in prayer when I miss the offices. Not that you need to pray the Office to spend time in prayer, I just find the Daily Office invaluable. I gotta get back. A healthy prayer life is of the utmost importance.
Sunday, August 11, 2019
Friday, August 9, 2019
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Light Flicker
Oh my God, today was a hard day! I think Page said goodbye as the light flickered twice in the vet's office after her heart stopped and during her paw printing; after she has been euthanased, the intern "fingerprinted" her so that Chandra could have a keepsake. Chandra is a mess. Please keep her in your prayers if you aren't already.
<3
We are going to put down Page, my daughter's dog, just after six O'clock tonight. It doesn't seem fair. I can certainly understand how people become angry at God when loved ones (human) are snatched away. This little animal was one of the family. And, it couldn't come at a worse time is seems.
My daughter and her boyfriend have went their separate ways. After several failed close relationships, blaming herself, she's fighting the Noon Day Demon. This little animal, companion, was the only constant in her post University life, her greatest comfort. Having been criticized for being too attached to this "animal", my vegetarian animal loving daughter loved this dog like it was a child. She's devastated. It's heart wrenching. It seems so unfair and cruel. The dog was only three years old. They say that if you spell God backwards it spells the perfect animal friend companion that he gave to us.
I'm not angry at God because I tell myself that God didn't do this. God is there to support us in these times, if you let Him. It requires a conscious effort to keep oneself in that mindset. He isn't Santa God that brings you what you want. The world is cruel. But, if you let Him, he will comfort you in your pain. I'm heartbroken. I pray for her mental and emotional well being.
Monday, May 20, 2019
Sunday, May 12, 2019
The Frog and The Scorpion
You just can't help but get a dig in at Doug Ford. 😐 I wish we could keep politics out of Church. It was supposed to be an informative charity pitch, and I was with you until the Ford bashing.
To be fair, the cuts are necessary because of the Liberals. They were not good stewards. They not only spent every cent that they took from us in taxes, they borrowed more money to spend to buy votes from the electorate. We have no choice but to cut now. We have to be responsible, or there will be no money later for what we need. If I have $75 in interest payments on my Mastercard every month, that's $75 less I have to spend on pizza, work boots, rent, etc... As it is now, the INTEREST on the Ontario debt--the fv3 <ing interest--would build a new hospital in the province every 90 days. We have to make cuts. We've been irresponsible. And...AND!, we're passing the bill to our fv3 <ing kids! We can live comfortably with all the services we want--they won't be able to--and they will pick up our bill for us. How selfish is that? I've been told that it is the fourth budget line item! Interest on the debt!
Fast-forward to 0:50
My favorite hymn for Evening Prayer, it reminds me of St. Gregory's Abbey.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=y9uU8CNOYUQ
Tuesday, May 7, 2019
Monday, May 6, 2019
Opus Dei
I keep thinking of the Opus Dei organization. The idea of dedicating your work to God is appealing. It's hard for a widget maker to find good in my work, especially considering work sanctified. It's easier if you help people I think. How do you sanctify all work?
https://opusdei.org/en-ca/article/message/
Sunday, May 5, 2019
Trust
Psalm 25 wasn't the only scripture to get my attention today, although the psalm hit very close to home. In reading about the food God sent the Hebrews in the desert, I picked up on something that I hadn't noticed before. At least, I don't remember it. I know that if they tried to save what they gathered that it would spoil on the second day. What I learned was that they had to gather double on the day before the Sabbath. It was to be a day of rest dedicated to God, and they were not to work--even by gathering food. The food gathered before the Sabbath did not spoil.
I can feel the lump in my throat and I just want to cry and cry and cry.
Psalm 25:17 NIV
Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.
wramier@yahoo.com shared Psalm 25:17 NIV with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish.
wramier@yahoo.com shared Psalm 25:17 NIV with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
Cluster
I was fortunate last Sunday, surrounded by people I care about. In a sparsely populated Church, the pews around me were packed in a cluster like I was the nucleus. I had my wife and goddaughter to my left, my folks to my right, and a friend in the pew in front of me with two of his friends. It was a nice feeling, even for someone with a rough abrasive exterior akin to John The Baptist.
Friday, May 3, 2019
Jesus Food
What would your diet consist of if you could only eat things that Jesus names/talks about in the Bible? Figs, wine, bread, what else could you eat?
Contrived Grievances
For most of civilization, women were subservient. They were property. They were kept down by society, not men. Many women didn't want the right to vote (responsibilities came with that right), nor did they want to work outside the home in the "man's" world. Many did not think it even possible. Women's suffrage raised women up. They were given the right to vote. Anti-discrimination laws were written for the work place. Equal pay laws were passed. They were given equal rights under the law. For a time, we enjoyed equality. But, the pendulum kept moving to the left, not stopping in the middle. Empowered women were now victims again. Untested unquestionable manufactured theories were produced, implemented, and enforced. Terminology like Toxic Masculinity, Benevolent Sexism, and Unconscious Bias became just some of the weapons of the left to seek special rights and privileges, over and above equality, is something called equity. I guess lingering in perpetual victim-hood is more profitable than acknowledging the evils of the past and celebrating equality. Hiring quotas, state funding and grants, special laws, and public education policy was developed, presented, and adopted. Even in a workplace where women are equally represented in administrative roles, there is a pushed perceived inequality where women need extra assistance because of a belief in a patriarchal establishment akin to the Illuminati controlling all world governments. Equal pay--despite laws for pay equality--rhetoric became the rallying cry of the left skewing data and misrepresenting statistics (Google video on Truth About The Wage Gap). It's not just about sex and women either, but I'll stop here. It's a mad time to be a White Male in the Westen world, where other demographic groups are used to fill opportunities and White Males are given what is left over because they enjoy Privilege.
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Sunday, April 28, 2019
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Poop
I thought if a hardware store hired a person with tourettes syndrome, the sign should read, "I have tourettes syndrome. Please be patient. I know my shit. I meant to say that."
Thursday, April 25, 2019
Because of my evil, I am afraid of Your judgments. But, the faith of others amazes me and Your mercy is heartwrenching overwhelming.
Psalm 119:120 GNT
Because of you I am afraid; I am filled with fear because of your judgments.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms+119%3A120%2C+Mark+5%3A28-29%2C+34&version=GNT
wramier@yahoo.com shared Psalm 119:120 GNT with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
Because of you I am afraid; I am filled with fear because of your judgments.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalms+119%3A120%2C+Mark+5%3A28-29%2C+34&version=GNT
wramier@yahoo.com shared Psalm 119:120 GNT with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
Wednesday, April 24, 2019
Live Traps
I find it sad and ironic when bleeding hearts and tree huggers opt for live traps; rather than a quick merciful death, the mouse knows the agony of death by starvation.
Tuesday, April 23, 2019
God has given me every success I have ever had, and the dead will rise again.
Isaiah 26 GNT
A day is coming when the people will sing this song in the land of Judah: Our city is strong! God himself defends its walls! Open the city gates and let the faithful nation enter, the nation whose people do what is right. You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever; he will always protect us. He has humbled those who were proud; he destroyed the strong city they lived in, and sent its walls crashing…
wramier@yahoo.com shared Isaiah 26 GNT with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
A day is coming when the people will sing this song in the land of Judah: Our city is strong! God himself defends its walls! Open the city gates and let the faithful nation enter, the nation whose people do what is right. You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever; he will always protect us. He has humbled those who were proud; he destroyed the strong city they lived in, and sent its walls crashing…
wramier@yahoo.com shared Isaiah 26 GNT with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
Even when I was very low, I hung on to my faith.
Psalm 116 WYC
Alleluia. I loved the Lord; for the Lord shall hear the voice of my prayer. (Alleluia. I love the Lord; for the Lord hath heard the words of my prayer.) For he bowed down his ear to me; and I shall inwardly call him in my days (and I shall call to him in all my days). The sorrows of death (en)compassed me; and the perils of hell found me. I found tribulation and sorrow; (The sorrows of death surrounded me; and the perils of Sheol, or the land of the dead, took hold of me. And I…
wramier@yahoo.com shared Psalm 116 WYC with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
Alleluia. I loved the Lord; for the Lord shall hear the voice of my prayer. (Alleluia. I love the Lord; for the Lord hath heard the words of my prayer.) For he bowed down his ear to me; and I shall inwardly call him in my days (and I shall call to him in all my days). The sorrows of death (en)compassed me; and the perils of hell found me. I found tribulation and sorrow; (The sorrows of death surrounded me; and the perils of Sheol, or the land of the dead, took hold of me. And I…
wramier@yahoo.com shared Psalm 116 WYC with you from BibleGateway.com. To sign up for daily verses, devotions, and Bible readings from BibleGateway.com, click here.
How could He punish them?
From a reading not long ago, I thought it intriguing that God punished the Egyptian gods.
Scratch1
Somebody said this weekend that the world would end in 13 years because of climate change...and I kept my mouth shut.
Monday, April 22, 2019
Rocket
When somebody says to me, "I know I'm x, but I don't want you to treat me any differently. I'm not looking for special treatment," my respect for that person skyrockets. I don't believe in treating people any differently. Some will say that us Xist and that they need (deserve) compensation. I never said that liberals didn't have a reason to support discrimination, I just said I don't believe in it.
Nuts for Lent
Because I gave up Facebook for Lent, I went a little nuts on Twitter and on this blog. 😅
Equal, but knot.
In the 1800s, women were seen as weak, and so were held back by society (not men) from working in what was then seen as a man's job. In the Royal Navy, it was a dishonorable act for a Ship of The Line to fire on a frigate. Likewise, women couldn't work. Women faught long and hard to prove they could do a man's job, just as good and without a handy cap. Fast forward to 2019, where--thanks to the cult of perpetual victimhood--women need to be over compensated for male privilege. I can almost hear Scooby Doo, "Bar"?
Ralph
It's like being sick. You fight barfing, even though you know you will feel better. If you just barf, get it over with, do it, then you will be able to pay your mortgage and car loan.
Didn't I just say this?
The Brussels Times - Electric vehicles emit more CO2 than diesel ones, German study shows
|
...then there's the natural habitat destroyed with lithium strip mining.
P.S. Bio-diesel is the way to go.
Elephant
Take it one hour at a time, break to break, day to day. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Leap of Faith
Was Freud telling me, "You're not happy. Take the risk. Your subconscious is trying to tell you that you're holding yourself back because it's safe. Your fear failure."
Sunday, April 21, 2019
Now Hear This
📣I no longer believe that homosexuality is a sin for those who eat meat or work on the Sabbath.📣
This is not new, not a new position. I just thought I'd say it again. I've believed it for years.
Easter
I celebrated Easter in my Betterment Basement with Easter Day readings and Psalms, the Divine Office, and burning incense. I have kind of semi-decide to only burn incense on Holy Days, because of second hand smoke. However, I enjoy it; but, it makes chanting the Psalms and singing the Venite hard, as I loose my voice in the smoke. I can read okay, sing...not so much. Reading Exodus was thought provoking, picking a young lamb (yearling) without blemish. It would be killed by all the people. They would eat it's flesh. It's blood would save them.
P.S. I have some wonderful incense from Holy Cross Monastery, the good stuff. 😊
This Lent
It was a somewhat productive Lent. I gave up several (5) things, failed miserably at most of them. I stayed off of Facebook and coffee after the cruise, and did okay with the video games. Holy Week was better. I felt my faith. I attended Maundy Thursday service at St. Paul's and Good Friday service with Fr. Ted at St. Barnabas in the city of St. Catherines. Somebody stepped up at work and I got Good Friday off. Thanks be to God. There was a shift that ran, but it was volunteers and I was not needed; often when people volunteer, I am needed. It worked out that we were ably to keep our plans and visit Fr. Ted. The Good Friday service at St. Barnabas was different. It is Anglo-Catholic, but they has Eucharist this year, with only the bread. The bread was pre-consecrated from the Maundy Thursday service there, no wine. They carried a large cruifix around the Church after the communion. They didn't take up an offering, but I left a donation. Chandra didn't go with us this year because of the short notice. She had made other plans. We met Beryl and Bob, Chandra and Hayden last night at the Keg for an Easter meal in Brantford. It was pricy. Today, we will be having Easter dinner with the folks in Stratford and Chandra and Hayden are planning on joining. So, a pleasant and happy Easter so far, a so so Lent, a good Holy Week, thanks be to God.
New Job
I had a dream last night that I was offered a new job. I was being recruited by a head hunter at a large company. I got the feeling that they didn't like guns, and they didn't even like me carrying my little pocket knife. I'm not sure what they did, but the job was mine for the asking. It was all office space, with no manufacturing space that I saw. They wanted to hire me as a supervisor, although they wouldn't really tell me what I would be doing. A coworker had already moved to this company from my current job and was trying to talk me into it. They were a forward thinking company like Google, and he was going out for a helicopter ride to refocus. The office was filled with enlightened child prodigies that looked too young to work, and I got the feeling that I would be supervising them. I was shown an incident report where one of the children had gotten into trouble. The place looked awsome. It was scary, a big decision. To give up my severance and job security was a big risk, especially for a job that I didn't know if I would be any good at. The company may have had something to do with research and time; I went with my friend on his helicopter ride over a river which was oscillating back and forth, sometimes flowing backward, some times frozen. I got the feeling that I wanted to do it, but I felt bad for my old boss in the consulting department at my current job. There was no pressure and everybody there was happy. What would Dr. Freud tell me?
Thursday, April 18, 2019
Insane in the Brain
I opened the door at 4:45 to let the dog out. There's a full (or close to) moon out there and the birds are up chirping. Stupid animals, what non-insane creatures are awake at this hour?
Letter and Dragons and Children Oh My
I had a strange nightmare last night that woke me up just after 10 involving flying dragons, secret letters, time travel, and of course...possessed children.
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
Office
Oh, and I skipped Evening Prayer. I came home and went straight to bed. So much for Holy Week, I may even have to work Good Friday.
Chops
Last night I delivered some Easter fundraiser pork chops for the riding association and didn't get to bed until almost nine O'clock. It's hard getting up for work at 4AM. I'm bagged.
Rant
I truly hate my job right now. I’m stressed out and exhausted. When
my alarm goes off each day, my first thought is that I should call in
sick today. I am ready for a change. Sixty hour work weeks and
rotating shifts while being the point man on a project with
aggressive goals that really should have been better planned for and
really should have been started earlier are not for me. Now, it
looks like I’m even going to have to work on Good Friday. In a
secular Western society that has forgotten it’s Christian roots,
it’s just a statutory holiday. Our family tradition of visiting a
priest friend in his parish this year will likely be cancelled. The
expectations placed on one person in one position are too high and
the demands are unreasonable.
Monday, April 15, 2019
Our Lady
A sad day today as Notre Dame Cathedral burned down, we have lost a holy place and a world treasure.
🌒
:(
Last night my spirits really sank into the pit of dispair. Cindy woke me up when she came up to bed and I had trouble falling back to sleep. My mind was racing, about work and opportunities wasted, about debt, about my father and our relationship, about Rachel and the unfairness of her tragic situation. It was like part of my mind was still asleep, the positive part. It was awful, and I couldn't turn it off and sleep.
I was also very tired. Being back on rotating shifts is very hard. It takes some time to adjust. Even straight nights would be better than rotating. I'm 44 and I'm done with shift work. I would like to move beyond supervision as well. It seems like such a waste.
I thought about mortality, my own and wasted time, Rachel and how bad things happen to good people, the fragility of my faith, the mortality of my father in the Winter of his life. We've had a turbulent relationship, more off than on, not all because of not getting along with one another. Time and opportunities are decreasing for us and for me. People around me are subject to failing health, sickness, and death. Thank God that nobody in my immediate family has passed away. But death, especially young tragic loss, of those around us is troubling and forces you to reflect. I seem to be rambling now, so I'll take my leave as they say. Suffice it to say that it was a missarable night. And now, I'm off to work...
Sunday, April 14, 2019
A prayer request: If you're the praying type, I would welcome prayers on my behalf for the work week ahead. It's a highly stressful time and I haven't had a good day in the last month.
FATHER in Heaven, I ask for peace and comfort for the work week ahead. Guide and protect me. Strengthen me and keep watch over me. I ask these things in the name of Your Son, my Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Palm Sundy
Even in the BCP the reading is long today. I can't remember St. Peter's denial being so strong. He swore he doesn't know Jesus. He even says that God can punish him if he is lying! I can't recall it being so extreme. Wow Peter. I feared for him as I read the words. Yikes.
Foot Washing II
We should wash one another's feet, just as we should forgive one another of their sins.
Freud, help!
I had a dream last night that I was at 243 Welling St., sleeping on the front porch. My Team Leader and Lead Hand showed up to pick up their kids and were walking between the houses to the side door. I think work is really bothering me.
Saturday, April 13, 2019
Foot Washing
Keeping in mind the 65th Psalm and how strong my sin is, I wonder about the foot washing passage in the Gospel according to St. John. If we are baptised in Christ and it makes our whole body clean, is it only our feet that sin makes dirty as they are walking in the world? Our feet make contact with the dirt of the Earth. Is it only our feet that need cleaning as Christ forgives all our sins and makes us clean already?
Keys to The Temple
Being asked to return the key breaks the connection and gives my time there an air of finality.
65
I read the 65th Psalm yesterday. I love how it says that we come to God because of our sin and how sin is stronger than we are. It gives me comfort how this is actually recognized in the Bible.
April 15th
We don't understand how Blacks of the early 20th Century were treated, how they had to live--especially race baters. It was barbaric, violent, and beyond unfair. We are likening things like Unconscious Bias to conspiracy and collusion. They are miles apart. There never would have been a Black President in the first half of the 20th century.
Struggles
I usually don't get too personal on here, although I have. So, I want to talk about the struggles of my area at work. I was reciently given some overly negative criticism my our company VP. He claimed that the single biggest problem in my area was the reaction time of my Team Leader and myself to problems. What I took that to mean was, we should be looking for gaps in the production line and, immediately inserting ourselves into the line (and position of manual labourer), doing half of the Team Member's job. After paying lip service to wanting to see the skills applied that I learned while I was in the consulting department, I've come to realize that what they truly value is two extra floaters. Without struggling, the Team Members will not get the practice needed, the repetition needed to get faster. They will develop the mindset that they don't have to run at Takt Time because I will do half their job if they do not keep up. Ironically, I am seen as soft and too lenient on the Team Members.
The Troubles of Supervising
I had a dream that I dangerous out of control gorilla was nearby. My partner started to condition the gorilla. I was impressed. Soon, they were teaching the gorilla to play softball with the gorilla. I was scared to play hard and offend the gorilla, lest he attack me.
Friday, April 12, 2019
Save'a'me Street
Could Sesame Street have been saved? The Green Bay Packers were saved. The Winnipeg Jets were resurrected. Star Trek went on to be a pop cultural icon. Could they gave worked harder (hard?) to find alternative funding and new revenue? Did they maybe just want a free ride and blame Trump? Maybe the problem with PBS is in the P?
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