I'm a little worried about this minor procedure I have to undergo on Aug. 3rd. I am more worried about the anesthetic than anything. Two things worry me: There is a small risk from the anesthetic (which I think means that I may not wake up); There is also the incessant semi-incoherent directionless rambling which follows the immediate post operation recovery. I'm worried about the things I might say that could hurt or offend loved ones. Things that I might think, but keep to myself out of love: e.g. my brother is a welfare bum. Then, there's the procedure itself.
Aside from there being a small chance of bleeding and also for a perforated bowel, there is also the fact that it is an extremely invasive procedure, this coupled with unpleasant childhood experiences makes it difficult. This deterred me from having it done a long time ago; but, as my doctor said, I am at high risk. Normally, it isn't recommended until the age of 50. But, by then, the horse could be out of the barn as the doctor says.
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