Why?

I was over at my brother Paul's place after I dropped Cindy off at work.  He was watching Captain America II and I watched it with him.  I don't watch movies much anymore.  I find them a waste of time, not that I don't waste time in other ways; but, they are a dedicated block of time.  I especially hate movies like this, as they make me realize lost potential and failed dreams.  I had a visit from the noon day demon.  Then, on the way home, I saw an old man sitting on his walker/stool watching the kids swimming at the Lyon's pool.  I thought he might be lonely, nostalgic.  I drove on.  I started thinking that I should stop and talk to him, make small talk, get to know him.  I thought that it was a strange thought to have and I'd likely scare the crap out of him.  Then I started to analyze it and over think it.  I thought that the chances of me doing that are slim, out of character.  "I won't do that," I thought.  That's not me.  "I've done something spontaneous like this before," I thought, when I played catch with total strangers at the river; but, I love baseball and that's different. I thought I'd scare the old man if I walked up and started talking to him.  I won't do it anyway, it's not the way I'm hard wired.  So, I turned around, almost all the way home.  I found myself hoping he wasn't there when I got back.  I thought about the stories his life held.  Maybe he was a soldier, maybe a corporate executive.  Maybe he was a factory worker.  Maybe I was being led by The Spirit.  I started to rehearse how I would approach him, body language, word choice, so as not to alarm him.  I got there and he was gone.   Why had it happened?  Then I started to think of my action and the ripples, like a non temporal Butterfly Effect.  What would this cause or what would I miss?  Where might I be for something or not be?  Was there still a reason?  The noon day demon returned on the ride home again.  I thought of blogging it all.  I've heard that if you can question your sanity, you're safe.  I'm going to have a beer; I think too much.