Love of middle age,
Friendship of adult child,
Worth all grief and pain.
Saturday, November 9, 2019
Saturday, September 14, 2019
:(
I am often told by those I know that I obsess about things. But, that is what I do. I am still deeply saddened by my daughter loosing her first dog that she loved so much. The image of her sitting outside the veterinary college waiting room, cradling that dashound like a child, incapacitated with sorrow, weeping unabashedly (nothing else mattered in that moment), is a mental image that still greaves me and at the time was painful and a herculean task to have to witness and be part of.
Everybody prayed for the dog to have some virus or something that would pass with treatment. I, being a pessimist, assumed the worst would be that they would recommend expensive surgery that would cost $6000+ and that Chandra would incur massive debt. Nobody expected that they would say that the dog couldn't be cured nor treated and must be put down immediately. Chandra was so close to the little animal and was already struggling with hard times. It seemed so unfair and was so heartwrenching. She, like I, am still sad...except more so.
@wramier: �� https://twitter.com/wramier/status/1166198241395957766/photo/1 Shared via TweetCaster
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Strange Dream Again
I had a dream that there were three shooters at work; we had an active shooter situation. Let me start at the beginning. I awoke in the hospital from a coma and I was in bad shape. I had been found face down on the concrete with my tongue out on the concrete. Why was that an important thing? I also had amnesia and couldn't remember the last several weeks or more. I remember asking the psychologist questions upon hearing that there was an active shooter. I remember asking if people died and the answer was yes. I remember asking sheepishly if I killed anybody, and the psychologist reluctantly responded with a yes, probably not wanting to cause me stress. I later discovered that there were almost 50 people killed. As it turned out, much of the blame was laid at my feet as I fought back. Many felt that I provoked the shooters. After much investigation, I learned that I neutralized the first shooter, took his AK-47 and fired into the air at the base of the front outside stairwell to get any other shooters to surrender. Note: My work does not have at outside front stairwell. It alerted the other two shooters to my position. I guess the second shooter and I must have shot each other. As the third shooter rampaged, he passed me by as I was face down with my tongue on the concrete. Scores of friends and coworkers had been killed. Here's where the dream took a weird twist. I went back in time, I guess in my own body a la Quantum Leap with Scott Bacula. (Because, there weren't two of me). I decided to right my wrong. This time, I fired no warning shots. After I neutralized the first shooter and took his AK, I first shot and killed the second shooter, then the third. No hostages were killed. Okay Freudian deal analysis people, what's going on?
Friday, August 23, 2019
Wednesday, August 14, 2019
Seven days without prayer makes one weak.
So, I've now gone several days without praying the office. Sometimes I am too tired, don't have enough time, don't think my heart is in the right place. The days add up quickly. I've been negligent. Sure, I say grace over a meal when I eat and give thanks for other things, say a quick "forgive me Father" when I catch myself breaking the Golden Rule; but, I don't spend any significant time in prayer when I miss the offices. Not that you need to pray the Office to spend time in prayer, I just find the Daily Office invaluable. I gotta get back. A healthy prayer life is of the utmost importance.
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