For My Benefit

The Rector's homily today really struck home. It was all about how we exclude and drive others who are different out of the Church, even if we don't do it actively. Now, I know she was talking about SSM; but, I thought about how unwelcome conservatives are in the Anglican Church. Oh, they don't ask me to leave (actively), but they only teach liberal ideals now and censor conservative ideas. Few think like me, and I feel surrounded and out numbered and unwelcome. I know she was talking about SSM, but I wondered if God was speaking to me through the homily just as He did through the high priest in Jesus' time (better for one man to die for the people). And, I found it ironic. Here's a homily for my benefit (to teach me to accept those who practice SS relationships) that really was for my benefit (God showing me that He knows how alone in the Church I feel). We sung Bloom Where You're Planted from the Glory and Praise book, and I asked myself, "Why has God called me to be here now?" Just like my presence on the AFP Executive Committee, I'm getting the distinct impression that I'm not supposed to be here (or at least not wanted here). I haven't been in Church in weeks, and I needed (and got a little) recharge. We're moving faster and faster to the left, and "change is good"; but, I'm expected to stay--and conform (change is only good when I'm not changing Churches). i.e. Change is good when it's change how they want. For some time now, I've been telling myself that I have to wait for Chandra to go off to university; I don't want to be disruptive to her. Where have all the conservative orthodox Anglicans gone? Where do I belong?