Little Humans

It's cute when they look grown up when they are little.  It's scary when they look grown up and they're big.

Rogg

After that terrible car accident on June 16th, I went to Church on Sunday and was kind of shaken up (although at the time I had no idea how much).  Ross, hearing about the accident, came over to my pew to try and comfort me.  I had no idea at the time of his history and the death of his son David.  I appreciate the effort all the more knowing his pain.  Thanks Ross.  I will miss you.

Women Bishops?

Women on Facebook in my Church have been posting stuff about The Church of England voting not to allow women Bishops.  I couldn't bring myself to post on their statuses for a couple of reasons.  I'm the enemy, and it would just be lip service.  Also, liberal feminism has become so unpalatable to me that I couldn't stomach responding.  I'll blog it.  So, how do I feel?  I'm shocked.  I didn't think that happened in this day and age in a democratic nation.  Her Majesty is a woman for crying out loud.  It p1$$e$ me off when people are judged for what is between their legs rather than what is between their ears.

Vietnam Tragedy

Vietnam:  The tragedy wasn't that so many young people died, although that was tragic; the tragedy was that they gave up.  They died for nothing.

Visions

Cindy'd kill me if she knew I was writing this I think; but, years ago Cindy had a vision, although I don't think she'd admit it now.  She was at a funeral at St. Paul's Stratford, officiated over by Fr. Ted.  She said she didn't know if it was her own funeral, or that of a loved one.  She had this vision during the Maundy Thursday service.  Needless to say, it freaked me out large, but not her.  Anyway, when Tanya took over as rector of St. Paul's, I said to Cindy that the vision couldn't come true now because Fr. Ted wouldn't be the celebrant.  I remembered all of this after Tanya announced on Sunday that she was being appointed Executive Officer of the Bishop's Office.  So, may God prevent it from coming true, like He spared the people of Nineveh in the Old Testament, in Jesus' name.  Amen.

The Crab Apple Tree

If I am out of place on Parish Council, then I am an Imposter First Class on the Anglican Fellowship of Prayer Diocesan Executive Committee.  Who am I to teach anybody to pray!  This too, I joined because I was asked; I did it as a favor--in my mind (maybe not his)--for Andreas, and also to serve God.  I was asked; what greater sign can you be given?  On top of being an imposter, I have missed not one, but every committee meeting in the entire past year.  But, I e-mailed Andreas (or Fr. Andy as I once jokingly called him) and asked him if I could help;  I felt unneeded, unwanted, and guilty for not helping more.  So, off I went to the Bishop's Prayer Conference, hosted by the AFP.  The Bishop didn't show this year, a dissapointment to many.  However, I loved the keynote speaker.  Canon Ann was great.  A lot of what she said resonated with me, spoke to me, sounded familiar.  She spoke of how she had a simple faith, of how she believed everything in the Bible was true; if it says Jesus cast out demons, he did.  If it said he healed, he did.  She spoke of how she had what I call a valley in her faith journey, about how she had a vision while passing a crab apple tree.  It was just an ugly bare crab apple tree.  The LORD said, "It will bloom again."  Canon Ann took this to be a message for her that she and her faith would bloom again.  She spoke about how she used to feel like an imposter, acting her way through it.  She spoke of journaling.  I write many journals, including this blog.  She told stories about faith healings.  She spoke of healing prayer, and those who miraculously recovered.  I found her very refreshing.  She even gave me an idea for the renaming of this blog, which I have since forgotten because I'm a dumb @$$.  She spoke and spoke and spoke.  She said so much that resonated with me that I don't think I can write it all down here.  God bless her and people with faith like her faith.  God willing, may I bloom again, in Jesus' name.  Amen.

When it rains it pours!

St. Paul's Anglican Church Stratford is really taking a $h1t kicking.  I've been told that since June or July, we've lost nine active members of the Church.  Parish Council has lost three, including the rector leaving.  We lost a warden (Glen) a few months back, and now we've lost a Synod delegate (Ross), both members of the parish council.  Now, our rector is leaving us (the third parish council member to depart).  It's going to be a very different Church in the new year.  Her departure was a shock to me, and was upsetting.  I'd say that we didn't exactly see eye to eye--being that she was a left leaning feminist liberal, except that we never argued.  I didn't see it coming, and thought she'd be around for at least another ten years, putting Michael's record to shame.  I was surprised to learn how much I will miss her presence.  In my perspective, St. Paul's was Tanya, and Tanya was St. Paul's.  It's like the Church has been gutted.  It's heart has been ripped out.  It was Tanya who asked me to sit on Parish Council, at a young 28 or 29 years of age, a parish council that was full of old people.  I never would have been elected--or even nominated--by Vestry.  She saw something, or hoped for something, in me and gave me a chance.  At the time, I didn't want to do it.  I hate public speaking, and felt like the wrong person for the job (and still do).  But, I said yes; because, I saw it as a way to serve God, and decided to do it for Him.  I still think I've walked into the wrong room at every Parish Council meeting when all the faces turn to me.  Often, I find myself checking the minutes or the agenda for my name to make sure I'm supposed to be there; I kid you not.  I'm the only person on Parish Council under 50 (60?), and it feels funny.  I was warned by a person who will remain nameless that Tanya would not be sticking around because she was ambitious.  She may be an ambitious liberal, but I will miss her way, way more than I ever realized I would.  I could have cried when she made her announcement breaking down on the chancel steps.  I don't totally get it.  Yes, it will be a very different Church.  I find that I am now--I've talked about where I belong in previous blogs--reevaluating my place at St. Paul's and questioning where I should be.  Can it take a fourth person leaving the parish council?  Where does God call me?

There is no more Rogg.

A good while ago, Cindy got Barb and Ross Penton's e-mail address from them for some reason.  I was supposed to e-mail something.  When I sent it, it bounced.  I sent it to barbnrogg@something.com, or an address very like it.  Barb and Ross have/had such an amazing faith.  Ross was said to have not been afraid of dying.  He's supposed to have said as much, and that his last words were that it was time to go up.  Barb said that she's not as sad as she could be, because he's not suffering and she knows where he is.  Cindy surprised me, as she often does, with her own faith; she said that Ross must be so happy to be back with his son David.  She calls me the religious one, but her faith surprises me at times.  Today was Ross' funeral.  He was involved in so much, and had touched so many lives.  His, like Glen's funeral, was standing room only.  Or, as I like to say, you couldn't have fit any more people with a six foot shoe horn.  I regrett not taking Ross' offer to help him chop wood.  Now, I never will.  I can't remember why he asked now.  Did he want to pay me to help me out?  Did he need the help himself?  Was he just looking for company?  I'll never know.  Death sucks.  It takes loved ones from their families and friends, never to see them in this life again.  Death really is shitty.