Letter

Not all of my thoughts end up in my blog here, at least not right away. Some of them are written in other places or spoken or what ever. I thought I'd post some of a letter I sent to a friend. I won't post his reply of course, but my thoughts to him are below:

"Sometimes you can't make a horse drink. Some Christians believe that they can be Christian without going to Church at all, although I've come to believe that this is a very selfish view. And, St. Paul said that we should not give up the practice of meeting together. I was surprised, as I started back to Church (I didn't go at all throughout college or for a few years after), to find so many Christians for whom Christianity is simply a lifestyle philosophy (Jesus was a good man and it could be a better world if we all follow His teachings). For some Christians, Church is just comfortable. It's what they know. Church may just be a friendly social club of “good” people. A Lenten study may help. I remember one that Fr. Ted did on the Holy Spirit that was good. I'm no theologian, but I was thinking about what I found helped me build my own faith (which I myself consider very weak, but growing). Bible study got me started, got me thinking (Who is God? What does He want?). I think about what St. Paul (I think) said about prayer being exercise for the soul. I try, although not always successfully, to set time aside each day to pray. I find the more I pray, the closer I seem to be to God. But, first, you have to want to believe. An interesting quote came out of our VIVA workshop. Dewitt Jones said in a video that he used to think, “I won't believe it until I see it”. He came to realize that, “I won't see it until I believe it.” Without a road to Damascus experience, you have to want to believe I think. My high octane evangelical friends tell me that a faith without the presence of the Holy Spirit will die; this is true. They believe that every Christian needs to have their own drunk in the Spirit Pentecost. But I think, blessed are those who believe not having seen. The more I look for God in events, in the world, the more I see Him, if I choose to see. I also find prophetic scripture helps grow my faith. Reading the Bible, the 22nd Psalm, Isaiah.... It is amazing how the scripture reinforces the fact that God sent His Son, and it was written generations before Jesus came. It's amazing. When I read them, and even when I re read them, I think, “Wow!” So, to people who actually take the time to read the Jesus prophecies, it's either amazing or it's a load of bull feathers. I choose to believe the former. Short of having a vision, I don't know how else to build up faith. I've always believed in God from as far back as I can remember, but my faith is weak; it's a paradox. I think that's why I take comfort in St. Thomas saying that he wouldn't believe until he put his hand in Jesus' side, or in St. Peter sinking in the water when he tried to walk on it (and Jesus didn't let him sink). I can really ramble on, can't I? :)

Fr. Warren planted a new Church. They started meeting in a plaza store front. He grew a tiny group of Christians who had a strong faith. They eventually bought a piece of land and rented a portable for worship while the Church was constructed (I actually helped put down the sod one Saturday). They eventually moved into their big building. However, when I went back to Barrie the last time, there seems to be nobody left from that first store front Church (nobody knew me anyway). It's too bad. You sound as though you would prefer the first century home Church. Maybe one Sunday (Sunday afternoon etc...) a month, or every other month (or every three or what ever) a congregation could meet together for worship at a volunteer's home (rotate through the volunteers) to bring back a sense of that first century home Church feeling. However, for me, there's some thing special and Holy about those big old buildings too.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not agnostic. I believe in God. I’ve met people with a strong faith. I know that my faith can be stronger. I’m not ready to drink the poison or be bitten by a snake. Peter Hitchens says in his book that a man who truly fears God, fears nothing else. I say my faith is weak because I’ve met people with a strong faith, and my faith could be stronger. I try to keep my faith fierce. And, I confront militant atheism when I encounter it in the world. I’ve never found religion to be an obstacle myself; I find that it has only been a tool to grow my faith."