The Divine Office

The Office is something that I have really struggled with for a very long time, not so much the understanding of it as the discipline to maintain the praying of it regularly.  It has enriched my faith, if not deepened it.  I highly value it, and I have grown most fond of it.

As I think back on how it all began, I have difficulty remembering when, how, and why it began.  I have a hard time finding documentation in my blog and other written sources.  I know that I wanted a deeper prayer life, more than the Lord's Prayer that I was praying. 

If I had to guess, I would say that it began during Fr. Ted's first interim ministry at St. Paul's as we were waiting on a new priest.  I was given the personal BCP of my Step-father, who no longer used it.  It was a marvelous resource, and I explored how to use it for home prayer.

I remember also finding an online resource for praying a simple BCP office, for which I have most regrettably lost the source documentation.  It was the opening canticle from Luke, Magnificat or Bendictus, The Lord's Prayer, the collect, and The Grace of our Lord.  I can't recall if it had psalm readings or scripture readings, or if I added these later.

I did add to it, over time.  I added the Apostles Creed.  I started to chant/sing the psalms.  I added personal prayers, even before that.  I especially like the prayer at page 57 in the BCP.  I started praying the Penitential Office and the Litany on occasion, as well as the Service of Light and the Service of Resurrection from the BAS.  During lockdown in 2020, I learned and prayed Anglican Breviary and all seven of its Offices.  

I found the Breviary challenging, rewarding, and time consuming.  But, I missed the BCP and I missed it's intercessory prayer.  I found that when I returned to work, that I did not have the time for personal prayer that I once had during lockdown, and so I gave it up and returned to the BCP.

At some point long ago, I started to burn incense during prayer on occasion, and extended my prayer beyond the Office to include meditation with and without Anglican prayer beads. 

Not being careful, I documented none of the original sources, and have lost them all.  I don't know where I discovered how to pray the BCP Offices, how I found the prayer beads, how I found Holy Cross Priory, or really any of it.

It was Fr. Ted who turned me on to CAROA and I discovered St. Gregory's Abbey.  After visiting Holy Cross Priory and going to several retreat days that were hosted by the Sisters of St. John the Divine, I found a place that I loved deeply, St. Gregory's Abbey in Three Rivers Michigan.

I incorporated some of the deeply moving, meaningful, and Spirit filled practices of the Abbey in my Office, including the chanting of the psalms and the singing of a hymn in the Evening Office.

At some point, I incorporated the singing of the Venite from St. Paul's into my Morning Office long ago.  The music of my parish had a lasting affect on my prayer.

The Work of God, the Divine Office has had in impact on me.  Again, my biggest struggle is in having the discipline to keep praying it regularly.  

As one point, I started to film it for YouTube, and during lockdown I actually attempted to upload it every day.

As a gift one year, my wife and daughter bought me a prayer bench.  So, my prayer of The Office has moved back to the bedroom from the basement.

The incense that I burn on occasion came from Holy Cross Monastery, although I've never been there.  They couldn't send the charcoal over the border, so I bought my first briquettes from a head shop.  It makes holy smoke.  😂

Although, sometimes, I find it counterproductive; as, the smoke makes it difficult to sing the psalms for me.

Heart

I dream often.  I record seldom.  Only when the dream is weird or unique, I record it.  If, as many are, it is bland and ubiquitous, I don't journal it.

Several nights ago, I had a dozy.  The Devil inserted his hand into my left ribcage and up inside me and grabbed me heart.  Jesus have mercy on me.  Amen.  I woke up, and have been thinking about it since 

Did my mind want to tell me that I have heart disease?  Is it a metaphor for some kind of spiritual danger during Holy Week?  What did it mean?

FATHER protect me.  I ask this in Jesus' name.  Amen.

Yahoo Mail: Search, Organize, Conquer

The Log

The log, I've often loved Jesus' theme of reinforcing that God want's mercy.  Stop condemning those around you and be merciful.  Again in Luke Ch 6, we see Jesus saying that we should stop judging when we have faults.  But, as humans, we're so good at it.  We judge non stop.

Only When You Have Sold The Last Grain, Only Then Will You Realize That You Can't Eat Money?

Is it better to sell what you have to those who need it?  Maybe not, but human nature is to hate those who will not sell it.  Interesting thought, after reading Proverbs Ch 11, it seems we are to sell to those who need rather than to keep for ourselves?

Reap What Ye Sow

Is it a sin?  Probably but, we were released from the law.  Reading the Gospel according to St. Luke starting in Ch 6, we see that we are forgiven if we forgive.  We are not condemned if we do not condemn.  It's a good standard by which to live.  Yes, we all get along better when we don't tell others how to live.  But, in the next life, we can expect to be forgiven if we are forgiving, to not be condemned if we don't condemn.  Imagine that....

Moses to Dr. Susskind, come in Dr. Susskind. Are you there? Over.

Some people have a very hard time with the Old Testament passages about the fighting in the promised land.  Starting in Numbers 32, we see the people leaving Egypt and entering the desert, waring with other peoples and taking their cities and land.  God commanded that they do these things.  So, how is this good?

Well, first, aside from the fact that we are judging God by human standards, we ask for this.  Do we not ask for an end to evil?  Do we not wish for all that is evil to be removed from the world?  Did not God send the flood to purge the world of evil hateful people?

Second, the Hebrew people were nomadic, homeless, looking for a place to live.  God had adopted them as His people.  So, He was trying to protect and guide them and be their god.  We believe that God knows all things, yes?  How do we know that the people of these lands were not evil and wicked, as the Hebrews' own ancestors were before the flood?  How do we know that they were not violent and wouldn't have attacked the Hebrews and wiped them out if they had the chance.  If God was protecting them, then He would have likely been proactive too.  

Two more outlandish beliefs exist too.  They were not God's people, the people of these lands.  The Hebrews were God's people.  What does that even mean?  Well, some believe that they may not have even been people, similar to the Niffelheim before the flood.  Don't go down that rabbit hole.

Is this reality?  What if we are living in a dream?  None of this is real and none of it really matters.  But, we have to be moral, because we are judged for it and rewarded or punished in the next world.  But, what goes on around us is a simulation of sorts.  I believe Plato said that we are in a cave chained to a wall watching the shadow cast by the fire light.

I once read that we are not in the world, that our bodies are.  We are trapped in our skulls, and only perceive the world around our bodies through the limitations of our own senses, similar to being trapped in a concrete room with TV screens or monitors displaying images and sound relayed from cameras outside the room that we are encased in.

Sun Spots and Asteroids and Nuclear War Oh My

We are living in some pretty uncomfortable times, some pretty uncertain times.  There's a MASSIVE hole in the sun's surface.  Nobody in the scientific community seems alarmed as of yet, so I guess it's safe? 🤷‍♂️  The asteroid Apophis is supposed to strike us in 2036.  It's okay.  Nobody is even really talking about it yet.  We have LOTS of time.  And, this just in, we've decided to play Russian Roulette with actually Russians, where there is a very real threat of Nuclear annihilation because we have secret NATO troops in the Ukraine!  Oh, an the Turdeau Liberal government is outlawing free speech next week.  That is all.

And so God gave me a daughter

And so God gave me a daughter.

I wanted somebody, as a child who would be close to me.  Relationship was important.

I'd head that children were closer to parents of the opposite sex.

And so God gave me a daughter.

I wanted somebody, as a child, who would be smart, intelligent.  

It was a value instilled in me by my father.  And, I've been told that girls are pretty smart.  I think she 

may be the smartest person I know.

And so God gave me a daughter. 

I was looking for a child, a special person whom I could protect and provide for.

I wanted somebody whom, I hoped, would always need me.

And so God gave me a daughter.

I wanted somebody who had a high EQ.  I feel emotion.  I was always taught to cover it up.

I tend to bottle up my emotion, and have been called cold.  With my wife, she has taught me.

And so God gave me a daughter.

Somebody so special, a new kind of love was shown to me that I previously did not understand.

Until you have a child of your own, you can only wonder.  Until you are the Father of a little girl

you can only imagine what that love is like.

And so God gave me a daughter.

Being evil is to put your own interests before the needs of others.

Love is sacrifice, giving of yourself for others.  It's interesting how a father will sacrifice for a daughter.

And so God gave me a daughter.

I have few special people in my life for whom I would sacrifice to the maximum.

I only have one daughter for whom I would do almost anything to protect.  That is a unique feeling.

And so God gave me a daughter. 

Burns in Me Like a Fire

Two very powerful readings today, we read Exodus Ch 20 and John Ch 2 today.  The law, Moses gave us the ten commandments.  I often think of it as broken into two halves, offenses against God, offenses against our neighbor.  And, that's exactly what our priest said in the sermon.  And, the second reading, the Gospel, was the importance of the Temple, as a sing of respect to God.  I feel the same way.  To me, the House of God is a special place, thin place.