Message

Adam - evil soul/heart

Emotion conversion

Paul - evil I don't want

Don't decorate you cell

No condemnation 4 belong 

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Woke From a Dream

 I had a dream last night that I was in some kind of Woke training at work.  I was getting so mad and arguing with the contractor who was doing the training.  They were pushing Critical Race Theory and blaming White people for everything.  I thought I was going to get fired.

I talked about the Toronto Police Service turning me away in 2009 because I wasn't a minority.  I talked about being refused service in Quebec in the 80s being an Anglophone.  I talked about the running standard in 1998 for the mile and a half for men vs. women.  I said that I wouldn't have White Privilage in China, and that it's not attributed to race or skin colour, this privilege.  And, Caucasians are in the minority; there are less than 2 billion of us in the world, I said. Where was my privilege when I needed it.  I even payed my own way through college.  I told the room that the gold standard was judging an individual by the content of their character rather than by the colour of their skin!  I was so angry.  I accused the contractor instructor of being raciest, attributing characteristics to me based on skin colour.  I said that it was a violation of the Ontario Human Rights code to force me to sit through the training; I was experiencing discrimination based on colour.  As a matter of fact, I went on to say that, I was being harassed; the contractor was using vexatious comments and aught to have known that they would be unwelcome.  I awakened from my dream before I was fired.  So angry, I couldn't get back to sleep.

It's coming, this Woke BS.  I've already sat through a training in the past year where they've broached the Woke ideology, introducing inherent bias (unconscious bias?) as a proven theory, the Canadian Mental Health Association I think.

Sound of Freedom

What a disturbing movie that was.  I was afraid of how I would react.

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R.I.D.E.

I got pulled over for a R.I.D.E. check this evening after a few beers.  I blew zero.  I don't understand.  I had my last drink about 5:15 p.m. and blew about 7:30 p.m.  I expected something.  I guess a drink an hour works.

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Am I now heartless?

I can't help but wondering if we're doing more harm than good for the poor.

https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1529138700024287233

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Sad Haunting Song

 I wonder why this song is such an ear worm for me.  It's haunting.  I don't even like Country & Western as a genera.  If I want to armchair shrink myself, it's a live lived.  A hard life, a strong man who accomplished little.  As I continue to roll with the punches in a battle with the NDD, I see maybe a reflection of myself?  Maybe?  It's a sad haunting tale of a time gone by, a lifestyle that no longer exists.  A story is told in this song.  A sad story is told that I can understand and am strangely captivated by.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU8As9ymPvw

They can't sit still.

The Big Five personality index would say they are high in Consciousness, always have been. They can't sit and visit.

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That we may perfectly love You, and worthily magnify Your holy name

I was praying the Penetential Office the other day, when I got to the, "cleans the thoughts of our hearts," part, when my mind went off on a tangent. 

I thought, "when it says heart, it means mind.  Because, long ago people thought intent and emotion formed in the heart.  But, how does dopamine and serotonin factor in, endorphins?  Does He give us a support to cope with biochemicals?  Or, maybe counter them?  I mean, I believe that we are more than just animals, more than just a meat computer.  We have free will.  

Does He protect us from biochemistry when He cleanses our hearts?  Or, does He give us spiritual strength to deal with it?"  It would be interesting to have the perspective of somebody from NA or AA, I think.

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Psalm 103

I was looking at a family photo that someone had posted--mom, dad, two kids under 10--on LinkedIn, and I thought:  People say they want to have a family, but really they mean that they want to be a family.  It's a moment in time, fleeting, and it ends.  That moment, like a family pose for a portrait, becomes a bittersweet memory.  Kids grow up.  Mom's and dads inherent empty nests.  Cherish the moment as you live it!

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