I met a really decent man and Pastor this past Summer and Fall. He's a good egg.
Monday, November 8, 2021
Saturday, November 6, 2021
😢
The last time I ever spoke with Dad, he said he was abandoned and left in a warehouse. It's killing me. At the time, I chalked it up to him being delusional or delirious.
What does meditation help? The benefits and surprising drawbacks of the art of meditation — Quartz
I was afraid to meditate tonight after Evening Prayer. I haven't meditated in quite some time. I prayed the evening office, prayed around my Anglican Prayer Beads three times, but could not bring myself to meditate silently on my usual mantra. Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. I couldn't. I was afraid. Mostly, it was because of this one article and all the negative Strong emotions I've been experiencing. I was afraid of what might happen.
https://qz.com/993465/theres-a-dark-side-to-meditation-that-no-one-talks-about/
Friday, November 5, 2021
Light a Candle
Click this link to see a candle burning on Gratefulness.org https://gratefulness.org/candle/single?id=
Some psalms lately have been rather poignant
The Lord ransoms the life of his servants, and none will be punished who trust in him. Psalms 34:22 (BAS)
But at my vindication I shall see your face, when I awake, I shall be satisfied, beholding your likeness. Psalms 17:16 (BAS)
When they breathe their last, they return to earth, and in that day their thoughts perish. Psalms 146:3 (BAS)
He asked you for life, and you gave it to him, length of days, for ever and ever. Psalms 21:4 (BAS)
Huge
Our rector preached her homily last Sunday on Halloween and All Saints Day, the connection and significance. She mentioned something that struck a cord with me when she said that we remember the saints that introduced us to the faith, not the ones that Churches are named after. Dad had a huge--HUGE--impact on my faith. Huge.
Vivian said about me that this man knows his Bible! And I did...when it came to the New Testament.
I've felt for a while that I don't know my Bible anymore. I used to dog ear pages to mark passages that I used for apologetics. I could quickly find passages by memory to explain, support, or refute the Eucharist, the divinity of Christ, the Trinity, gifts of the Spirit, judgement, salvation, etc... Now, I feel lost. I'll tell you who knew their Bible. Dad knew his Bible. I miss being able to ask him, "Dad, where does it say" whatever I needed to find. Now, I have all these dog eared pages--I felt it was sacrilegious to write in a Bible--that I have no idea why I marked some of them for. Why on Earth did I mark this passage? My experience tells me that gut feelings are usually justified. I would like to fix that.
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