80 if We Are Strong - To Be Caesar

I'm at 50 now, with 30 left to go.  I've done nothing great.  It's been said that the most common desire is to be great.  Why?  Pride?  Maybe, maybe people just want to be remembered for something.  For me, being great would mean improving the lot of the common human, in some way.   At 50, I haven't accomplished much.  I work in a factory.

What is really important in life, health, happiness, love?  I am loved, and I love.  It's been said that we shouldn't chase happiness as a goal; it is fleeting and hard to maintain.  And that, our expectations of being constantly happy will leave us disappointed.  Rather, we should chase responsibility and being a shoulder for those around us.  If we chase responsibility and purpose, we should find fulfillment.  Fulfillment, among other virtues that bring it, may bring us the happiness that we seek.  I've learned that love is sacrifice; giving of ourselves for those who are important to us--giving and sacrifice--is the manifestation of that love.  Evil is selfishness.  

Health is also fleeting.  I mean, there are things we can do to be healthier.  Not everyone is blessed with health.  I was dealt a pretty good hand.  I do know that a mindset of perpetual victim-hood squanders what little you have.

What else is important?  God is, your relationship with The Creator.  Pushing Him away can only cause pain and repressed trauma.  Mental and spiritual wellness is important.  Peace is important.  Find peace.  For me, eventually finding peace in not being great is a holy grail of sorts.

Principles, having principles--being a principled man--is exceedingly important to me.  Having integrity, I have to be true to myself and God, even when no other person is looking.  Liberty, equality under the law, personal responsibility, these things are the tip of the sword for me.  The ideas of Classic Liberalism--I consider myself a Blue Tory currently--are in my wheelhouse. 

I was called to be a father and a husband, both important and fulfilling in their own right.  The scope is narrow though, unless you account for the person that I helped develope as a father and her impact on the world.

Still, I feel I have squandered 50 years; I feel unfulfilled insofar as I have not become great by my own definition of the word.  My single greatest regret is that I have never served, my country in uniform, my fellow citizen as an officer of the law.  That is a boat that has sailed for which I have yet to make peace.

We can't all be Caesar.  I thought that I could at least be a centurion.  I have fallen short, by my own measure.  Regrets:  The struggle is to make peace with your past.  Sins:  Forgiveness from the Lord is given by grace, withheld by my own conscience.  Greatness:  Is assigned by the beholder, and measured in pounds of regret.

Would that I could break free from the drab monotony of meaningless mediocrity.   Purpose, that is what I feel I lack, and a stepping stone to being great to those around me.  What is the measure of a life?  Many would say a good life lived is one in which the person was mostly good, had enough, avoided unaverage hardships.  But, it is more; it has to be.  A good life lived, at it's pinnacle, should be to be a great person.

Grateful:  I have many things for which to be grateful.

• My wife is beautiful at 53, even though she doesn't see it

• My daughter is smart, well educated, driven, and beautiful 

• My health, and 

• The health of my family

• My faith

• Living in a free country

• Enough to eat

• A roof over my head

• Clothes to wear

• The gift of a job to have those things

• A bed to sleep in

• To be able to travel

• To be able to worship as I chose

• Free Speech

• The right to trial by a jury of my peers, and

• The presumption of innocence 

• Habas Corpus

• Peace in the land

• So much that I take for granted

The older I get, the more the 12th chapter of Ecclesiastes makes sense to me.  Time is running out.  If I'm a late bloomer, the time is at hand.

One of the greater challenges for the future of our society will be to protect liberty from socialism, the individual from the collective, in the Tyranny of The City.  Also, how do we find meaningful occupation for the individual as automation takes over; people need to be productive lest they become depressed, and we can't make AI our slaves race.  I know the future will be radically different than I can imagine, and I hope the individual remains free.

I won't be here to see it.  But, I hope that the people of the future heed the lessons of the past.  History is important.  If we don't know it, re repeat it.  The 20th century should be a lesson for all time.  

Thomas Sowell is an amazing author and thinker.  The benefits of the institution of Free Market Capitalism cannon be overstated, in the improvement to the standard of living provided to the common human, despite being maligned by the slander of the Collectivists who would reduce us all to the lowest common deminator.  

The appeal, as I see it, is to those who envy any that have more, and to those who have too much; the Limousine Liberal does not understand why we all can't give 50% to help the poor.  Once one has paid for shelter, food, transportation, the excess income is easy to give away; this is a view that is harmful to the working class.

Civil Disarmament is wrong; no good government should fear its citizens; and, licensed arms holders are not the criminals.  

When I see the accomplishments of some of the people half my age, I am awe struck.  What have I been doing for 50 years?

My Church has its left turn signal stuck on.  It has become a bastion of Moloch, Gaia, and Lennon worship, rather than teaching about the Lord.

The world is starting to make less and less sense to me.  It seems that the left has won.

Is it time to pass the torch?  Or, do I have the ability to squeeze out a little more?

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