This situation is literally my reaction. I spend my time in the air in regulating my breathing, in meditation, and in prayer. My family--when they aren't oblivious to my distress (they DO know that I fear flying)--trivialize my terror with helpful statements like, "Everybody is afraid of flying. You just have to go ahead and do it. It gets easier." They refuse to drive long distances, and insist on flying to our pre-COVID destinations. I cannot begin to put into words the paralyzing terror that I experience, and I--realistically--expect my heart to stop from the sheer stress on my body from the fear. The turbulence destroys any remaining self control, as I can hardly think at that point. It takes everything I have in me to not lose control, and I fear an all out panic attack at some point will grip me.
One pre-flight conversation went like this, "Can we get you anything Sir?"
"Bourbon!"
"Sir, we will serve alcohol once the plane is in the air."
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