C Razy

What a crazy day!  It was, however, a great day with the brothers from OHC and Sr. Anne from SSJD.  But, more on that tomorrow.

I Wrote a Song

Generals gather from all classes
Just to save your sorry asses
Labeled evil by the leftists
Fighting for your rights AND leftists'
Bringing justice to oppression
Fight the despot's mad aggression

Leftists think they're the enlightened kind
They indoctrinate the scholastic mind
Preaching tolerance for the land
Condemn what they just don't understand

Watching innocents be slaughtered
They just can't be bothered
Just like Nevelle helped out Hitler
Peaceniks just f—radio edit—ing sit there
Oh Lord yeah (except if it offends Atheists, Muslims, or anti Christians)

Solo

Politicians forced to make the call
No one else will take the fall
Trying to protect us all
Not soon to be for-given if at all
Leftists think there's noting worth fighting for
Why do they always invoke the poor
Yeah

Hand of God has struck the hour
Pacifists begin to cower
Begging mercies for inaction
Satan shows his satisfaction
Ah Lord yeah (except as above)

Solo

Values

It has been very important to me to treat everybody the same; it has been that way for decades, me and my Dudley friggen Doright attitude.  I didn't pursue my band card so I could earn a police officer job.  I was then floored when I was told that I was too white; I also had a penis.  It seems society is filled up with racist opportunists, self loathing male caucasians, and ball bashing misandrists like my high school math teacher.  Now I'm questioning that value, not in favor of affirmative action, or social justice, or social engineering, or even personal interests, but self defense.

Commercialism

I seem to recall Canon Farr saying something like not having a problem with the commercialism of Christmas because it served us; it allowed us to be generous to one another, as when Marry used the expensive perfume on Jesus.  It seemed strange coming from a Priest in a society that complains about commercialism, the true meaning of the holiday, and even Christmas.

FB Posts

I really wanted to incorporate my FB posts in my blog.  I guess I didn't want to loose content.  After a few failed attempts from 2013, I called it quits.  I can't remember what I've written where, or how many times I have repeated myself here.  Please, bear with me.  :)

Events

I recognize that world events have shaped my life.  9 11 had a huge impact on me.  The first Iraq war in '91 had a profound influence on me.  Princess Diana's death shocked me and was one of those I remember where I was when I heard events, as was 9 11.  9 11 made me feel angry.  It gave me a strong feeling of solidarity with our American cousins (I was quite anti American in my youth).  It made me feel unsafe and question the ethics of preemptive strikes, or rather weather it was really unethical.  I became a big supporter of just war.  The protesters taking down the fence in Quebec make me question weather we've become too soft as a society.

I used to, and maybe I still do, believe that most Muslims were good people, that it was the radicals who were to blame for the violence.  The rise of ISIS, the killing of Christians in the Middle East, and the events in Ottawa--the shooting--have me reevaluating my values.  Does Islam teach violence?  Is it ever okay to be racist?    Are we too soft?  Are our western liberal values more important than 100 000 lives?  How about one life?  At what expense do we purchase our values?  Do we stubbornly hang on to them at all costs?  Have we lost if we change them?  Have we lost if we are destroyed hanging on to them?  When do we protect ourselves by going after our enemies?  When is it okay to push back?

It's been said that the world changed after 9 11.  But, individuals changed after 9 11.  Events change me. 

WARNING: Strong Language and Content

I was reminded of something a good friend of mine, DA, said when I watched some YouTube videos recently. He said something like, "If you believe in God intellectually and not spiritually, you will loose your faith." It is fleeting if it is not well grounded; it will not last. At the time it was said, I took it as an insult and a personal attack. One of the saddest things, I think, is to watch somebody loose their faith. It is truly sad for me, and almost moves me to tears. I watched one of my own family members evolve to this understanding and never fully understand what motivates Atheists to destroy a person's faith.

Recently, I revisited some anti Atheist videos that I loved, posted by JB, only to discover he was now an atheist. It was a sad and disturbing revelation. However, he had left the original videos on apologetics up. I became intrigued with the how. How did it happen? I watched more of his videos. I watched how he rationalized his conversion to Catholicism. I watched his video on how he rejected Christianity. There seemed to be common reoccurring themes. He is a very intelligent man and a rock solid debater. Logic is important to him. The loss is ours. I would never want to go toe to toe with him; that is for sure. He seems to have rebelled and have a rebellious nature, first against his parents/upbringing in joining the Catholic Church, then against the Catholic Church. He is right in that he is very open minded. He is perhaps the epitome of great critical thinking. But, is that perhaps what is most important to him, critical thinking and debate?

As I struggle with my own faith and the Church, I have asked a lot of questions, soul searched, and still find questions and uncertainty. In the end, at this point, I have found that I believe in God because I want to believe. (Is that enough?) I have never experienced what I call the Road to Damascus Experience, although I have seen glimpses. I can see the hand of God in my life at points, but don't know why. The Church has drifted so fucking far to the left that it has all but pushed me out; I do not buy into the bullshit inclusion/tolerance that has caused both watered down Christianity and intolerance of conservatives. (Note to the reader: Do not misunderstand my intentions.) Paradoxically, I still think that the Church is a great vehicle—dare I say potential vehicle—for carrying forward the legacy I have been left, the seed, the coin I do not want to bury. So many of my people have forsaken their heritage and sought after strange gods in this pluralistic anything is good and everything is right age we live in. I still stand by my earlier statements about non Church going Christians being selfish. Now, I guess, I can identify with them. I too have also felt the pain of not having a legacy as I understand the sorrow of not having a heritage and the very real possibility of being the last generation of my people.

There's so much here, so much to unpack, and yet so much more to write. This is a long rant, and yet the tip of the ice burg, where I am, and perhaps the beginning of a journey.

Racists

Liberals want to treat everybody different.  Conservatives want to treat everybody the same.  And, we're the racists?

Prayers

My prayers were answered.  But, I found myself asking, "What was the answer?"

John 15:13