Honesty

Sharing with your wife the phrase honesty is not the best policy quickly proves the truth of the statement.

Sad Day of Reflection

William Shatter recently turned 90 years old.  He commented in reflection that we should take it easy, because in the end nothing matters.  Today was my first visit with Dad, post third wave.  It's been months since the last stay at home order was issued by the province.  Dad is now, and has been for some time, living in a retirement residence.  It wasn't a bad visit and trip out to Seaforth, other than I killed two animals. 

A squirrel ran out in front of me, which I couldn't avoid.  Then, a bird on the road didn't fly away.  I felt both squish under the tire.  I'm getting to liberal maybe, but it was sad.  Perish the thought.

Reflecting on the visit, I pondered many things.  Dad and I don't have much to discuss.  We can't talk politics or religion, and he has nothing to do.  Current events are out anyways, as his memory is so bad.  So, he reverts to talking about the past.  When he slanders family members, I change the subject.

We got coffee from Tim Horton's and headed to the old air base in Clinton.  It's sort of nostalgic for him, as he served on several. 

Continuing to reflect, I always marveled at the things my grandfather witnessed in his life.  He was born into a world in which beasts of burden were the main means of transportation.  He saw (lived through) the death of Queen Victoria, of Victorian Age fame, Canada's first monarch.  He saw the invention of the automobile.  He saw first flight happen.  He saw the invention of the radio.  Then, he saw the invention of the television.  He lived through two world wars, and missed serving in both due to age, too young & too old.  Although, he was in the Militia during or shortly before of after the second.  He saw man land on the Moon!  He lived to see the invention of networked computers and the internet, although he may not have understood.  There can't have been too many people who experienced all that.  From horse and cart to space flight and instant communication, it must have been something for a former telegraph operator.

As I continued to reflect, I thought about my own dad.  Maybe he has witnessed equally great transformation in his lifetime, although not necessarily technological.  A self proclaimed technophobe who doesn't stray beyond a digital alarm clock but prefers an analogue one, he was--at one time--a computer programmer.  In the 70s, I believe, he used paper punch cards to program.  However, the social changes he has witnessed are enormous.  Born into a world fighting totalitarianism, we now are no longer free to associate, assemble, travel, work, purchase what we desire, etc...  Even free speech is being challenged and maybe soon freedom of thought also.  A coldwarrior, he stood to defend us from socialism.  Now, it is openly embraced as we--as a society--blame all evils on free market capitalism.  When my dad was a boy, there were Orange lodges in every town.  Shops closed on Sundays.  People went to Church.  Homosexuality was a criminal offense, for which you could be hanged, I believe.  Now, we are in Pride Month.  Civil rights were being fought for and there was rampant racism in the deep South.  Now, White people are privileged orchestrates of oppression with retribution being demanded for past offenses, and things like Toxic Masculinity, Subconscious Bias, Benevolent Sexism, Micro Aggression, Male Privilege, and Colour Blind Racism exist.  People didn't believe in evolution when he was a boy.  Now, we've just released the first batch of genetically modified mosquitoes into the wild.

It's been roughly 25 years since my grandfather was in the retirement home, where he passed away alone.  Now, Dad is all alone and lonely.  At least my estranged brother visits him once a week.  He has that.  And, who know what another 25 years will bring.

Learning

I've been attending a friend's Church's Bible study on the book of Revelation.  I've learned a few things:

• Peter considered Paul's writings to be scripture 

• Some contest the authorship of Hebrews 

• My eternal Hell idea may be heresy 

While the Apostles' would have been referencing the Old Testament when speaking about scripture, Peter apparently said that the Jews were treating Paul's writings like they did other scripture.  The key word is other.  2 Peter 3:14-16

Being used to my 39 Articles, I didn't realize that anybody (Lutherans) didn't consider Hebrew canon, which explains why they might contest authorship.  Although, I might be putting the cart first.

Jesus freed the spirits in Hell while He laid entombed.  Hence, I reasoned that Hell was eternal; it was a good explanation in my mind for how one who died in sin and never hearing the Gospel could be saved.  Pastor Matthew said that it presents a theological problem, as it would suggest that you always existed. 

So, I'm learning lots.  Not just about Revelation, I'm learning.

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The Old Apartment

I had an unusual dream last night.  I dreamt that I was on speaking terms again with my estranged brother.  We were in Dad's old apartment.  They hadn't cleaned it out after all. 

Note:  In reality, Dad has been in the hospital/retirement home for over a year.  And, I saw the rented dumpster outside the apartment; they (Dad's other two sons) cleaned it out without letting me know they were doing so, without asking for help or input, and without informing me after the fact.  Aside from the fact that I should have been consulted/informed, they threw out, sold, or stored all my own things there that were at Dad's from my teenage years without saying a peep to me.

So, in the dream, my brother and I were going through the apartment and through Dad's things.  I found my comic books.  I was ecstatic, full of joy, to have been reunited with this little treasure.  I also found my old stereo. 

In reality, my thousands of comic books that were in cardboard McDonald's fry boxes are in a dumpster or listed on Kijiji.  The stereo was never there.

But, Dad also had lots of keepsakes, lots of memories too.  There were countless books.  There were models.  The USS Missouri model that I had put together so many years ago that he hand been hanging on to, even through the ten year period that we were ourselves were estranged.  It would be gone.

So, why now?  Why this dream now?  Well, two things I guess:

• I haven't heard from Dad in days, his phone is not being answered
• An 86 year old close Church friend is being put in a home by her kids

We were at her home on Friday night.  We went to bring her dinner, fish and chips.  It was expensive too, almost $100 for the two piece meals with fries.  But, as I pointed out, it was an investment in Barb, not in the fish. 

Could the connection be fries?  My comic books were in fry boxes.  We had fries on Friday.  Our friend and her daughter even offered us some of our friend's keepsakes.  "Take something that will remind you of her," she had said.  We took a bird feeder.

Both she and Dad are degrading mentally.  I believe our friend has alzheimers.  Dad has never been the same since he fell and hit his head.  Our friend forgot my name when we visited a week ago.  She was better Friday.  It was a hard goodbye.  She's moving up to the Muskoka area, to a home.  Dad, it's hard to have conversations with him.  His short term memory is very bad, and we repeat the same topics over and over again.  Although, I haven't seen him since before the third lockdown started.  We went out for coffee.  He desperately wanted to see the old RCAF base.  It's sad to see somebody who prided himself for so long on the sharpness of his mind have it taken away from him.

Dad was fond of hard teachings.  He would often make harsh statements that he felt were tenets for life.  Like, all true stories end in death, which flies in the face of his faith.  When my paternal grandfather was in a retirement home, Dad said that when one visited, they weren't visiting for grandpa; they were visiting for their own selfish reasons.  As, grandpa didn't know where or when he was or even who the visitor was.  I disagree with with this harsh statement.  But, I can't visit anyway right now with the lockdown.

Sometimes life just sucks.  Have a nice day!

New Again

Psalm 68 actually says Yahweh in the BAS.  I don't recall seeing it before.  Strange...

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Pew

Last night I had a strange dream that I was in a fire fight, pinned down behind a car.  It wasn't a military action.  I was with an agency or contractors.  I was trying to line up a shot to "no scope" a target that had us pinned.  When, a combatant walked around the car to parley.  I saw him as a threat even so, and tried to (did?) assassinate him.

Hmm... 

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Primitive

I wonder if far distant students of the humanities will scoff at us for allowing socialism to impede human development as many now ridicule the Church for holding back science for centuries. 

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