I wanted to write about Micro Aggression and a few other like subjects that I've been thinking about, but don't know where to start; so, I'll be jumping around a lot.
Now, I've never been one to believe in the theory of Micro Aggression. But, I recently had a family friend try to explain it to me. They gave me two examples. And, I was flooded with so many thoughts. So, here are the examples:
• Somebody with a speech impediment--similar to RFK Jr.--is served hot tea with their order of iced tea because the waitress thought it would help their sore throat
• A client wants to end a call saying that they feel like they're bothering you because your voice makes you sound sick
This family friend--who will remain nameless, as this is quite personal--likened it to a fat person going into a restaurant to order pie and being served salad because it is better for them. Or, you wouldn't ask somebody in a wheelchair how they lost their legs. These are not good examples though, because we know better in these situations. And, somebody might not know that you aren't sick.
Where to start, oh my, so many thoughts are running through my head. First, I guess, the fact that they got up and left the restaurant that served the hot tea could be the reason that we can't have people do nice things in the world anymore. Everybody is walking on egg shells. Granted, the waitress made an assumption, but she was trying to help; her intention was good. And, she was beat down for it. It seems like our family friend has become hyper intolerant, has molded themselves into a perpetual victim; it's become an identity, who they are.
I am a very big believer in intent. Mens Rea all the way baby! So, to play The Devil's advocate, lets say that the client on the phone was trying to punish the friend for--what they perceived was--being at work selfishly putting others at risk of becoming ill, and doing so by (making the friend feel bad?) saying that they were feeling bad for bothering the friend. In that case, I agree it is aggression. There is intent. If the comment was made in good faith, and made in genuine concern, I don't believe that it was an aggression; more likely the event is triggered by the irritability of the friend that has built from experiencing this concern and hearing these comments endlessly and causes the social breakdown. I believe that a person has to intend harm for there to be aggression.
Enter inherent bias. The idea that you are guilty without intent because you are a bigot producing Micro Aggression without meaning to do so by virtue of the fact that you are subconsciously a wicked hateful person toward an individual who may belong to a different group than you do. Sorry, that's as close as I can come to putting it into my own words. Obviously, I don't believe this theory either. What's important to me: What's in their hearts? What happened to love and tolerance?
After all, if micro aggression is a thing, if it is a problem to try to help those who we deem need the help because they are not like us, where does that leave Affirmative Action? Is that not Micro Aggression? Or, would helping a woman be Toxic Masculinity? ...and a micro aggression?
Are Micro Aggressions nothing more that inadvertent offenses that we take toward the actions and the words of others? I think so.
