Cindy walks around the kitchen island to exercise. Once, she made the comment that Bella gets in here way--our basset hound--as if intentionally trying to keep Cindy from reaching her daily step goal. She said, it's like the Devil is trying to keep her from this good goal. It's sort of a metaphor for all the things in life that get in our way of doing good.
A study (survey?) has shown that women don't find men with a pot belly attractive. But, every women I've ever known overfeeds you.
The book of Job has so much foreshadowing of the messiah in it. Take 25:4, who can be born pure of a woman? Well, I have the answer to that. ...now.
It feels like we're living in the end times. I know that we're told that no man knows the day or the hour and that there will be wars and rumours of wars and that the end would not come.
I want the Lord Jesus to return. With all the crap in the world, I'm ready. I hope it happens in my life time. And, most of the time, I've thought that it will never happen in my lifetime; every generation has thought that it will happen in their lifetime and it never does.
Right now, we have a war in Europe (again), we have Israel trading missile strikes with Iran in the Middle East, at least two active super volcano, solar storms that have caused blackouts and the potential to cause a Carrington Event (don't Google it), we're being told that the Earth's magnetic poles are due to reverse in a series of devastating cataclysms of earthquakes and tysunamis, and even that another universe has been discouvered in our plain of reality and that we may all be living on the inside of a massive black hole.
Man's knowledge will increase in the last days, I've been told. But, are these the birth pains that the book of Revelation speaks of?
Maranatha!
I'm one for history, time lines, journaling, etc..., so it bothers me that I can't remember when I started to pray the office. I've scoured my blog. I've looked at old posts on my God Wall. My journey--faith is a journey--was not well documented, at least in so far as praying the Office. Here's what I know.
• My step-father gave me his old BCP after I started attending St. Paul's Stratford, and
• I developed a love of and desire for praying at home "like a monk," starting with the BCP
• At some point during his first interim ministry, Fr. Ted introduced me to the existence of CAROA
• I somehow discovered Holy Cross Priory (I'm not sure which of these two points happened first), and
• All of these things happened in the early 2000s
I had no idea that the Anglican Communion had monks; I thought monks were a Catholic or Orthodox thing in the Christian world. At some point, my mother-in-law bought me my very own new copy of the BCP to use. Probably before that, I found (somewhere online) a very simple way to pray with the BCP at home, an Office. I've believed in God for as long as I can remember, since childhood. Praying was, then, the Lord's Prayer. Sometimes, I would ask for things, but that was pretty primitive.
As I evolved in the praying of the office, I:
• Was added to the St. Gregory's Abbey newsletter in 2013 or before
• By 2014, I was having regular correspondence with St. Gregory's Abbey and St. John's Convent
• I attended several quiet retreat days, hosted by the sisters of SSJD
• I visited Holy Cross Priory with Cindy and Chandra, and
• In 2015 (a super stressful year, I might add) I made my first trip to St Gregory's Abbey for solitude, and
• I repeated the trip each year until COVID19 stopped that (returning in 2025)
• Cindy and Chandra accompanied me on several trips to the Abbey, a thin space for me
• At some point, I had a deep desire--with no innate musical talent--to chant the psalms, and
• Through research of online videos and blogs, developed my own style of chanting the psalms
• During the 2020 lockdown, I even taught myself how to pray all seven offices from the Breviary
I--raised United--became Anglican around 2002 because of the Jehovah's Witnesses (long story). Through Anglicanism, I discovered contemporary monasticism and the Daily Office. A way to devoting my time to God and offering up a sacrifice of worship, praise, and intercessory prayer, I have found Morning and Evening Prayer meaningful, beneficial, and necessary. I've even made terrible YouTube videos.
Looking back, I wish I could see the timeline, mark out the progression and growth. Prayer beads, my membership on the board of the Anglican Fellowship of Prayer and learning Christian meditation, those things happened in conjunction with my love of the offering of prayer to God through the Office.
What I have now, is a Frankenstein of what I have found works and is meaningful, chanting, singing, using the BCP, BAS, and the Bible. It has grown and evolved from that first encounter with a BCP and the desire to use it at home.
Reading Job 7-9 today, I see that Job doesn't see God a s a god of mercy. He sees God as a god of vengeance. It's ironic when he mentions needing somebody to mediate on our behalf; there's some messianic prophecy there. Job sees God the way the world sees God. But, God didn't do these things to Job; Satan did them.
Now, there's the age old philosophical question of why bad things happen to good people. Or, worse perhaps, why did God allow Satan to do these things?
The best answer that I can come up with is that the Father allowed His own Son to suffer on a cross, and for us. Our god is a God of suffering; God the Son chose to suffer with us, live as a human mortal, and to suffer. He suffered alongside us.
Just like us, Satan--to a large extent, I suspect--has free will (with some checks and balances). God will not stop us from doing evil. But, He does set limits.
